Changez

•6•

"You aiight, Monika?" Pac asked.

"I'm fine." I avoided eye contact.

"No, you're not 'fine'... What the deal is?" He pried.

I said nothing.

"Look, it's obvious there's something on ya mind and I suggest you kick it. I'm a good listener."

"Like you care." I smugly responded.

"I don't put up a front for nobody. If I ain't care, I wouldn't have asked." He eyed me.

"The guy that came to get me yesterday.. He's changing my mama." I gave in.

Pac looked at my neck and touched it.
I winced a little.

"Who did this?" He asked.

"She did. She was mad that I fought and Daniel made up a lie about us fooling around. He said we were disrespecting him and so on. He was straight up lying! She believed him, and attacked me." I fought back tears.

"Aye, look at me... You don't gotta take that bullshit. You're going through enough. Your mama supposed to alleviate that stress, not add on to it."

"Where else am I gonna live, Pac? I got no choice. I ain't tryna be a foster kid, I'm already a bastard." I bit my lip.

"C'mon, you ain't a bastard. You knew ya pops. You don't got a aunt or nothin?" He asked.

"Nope.. No one. It's always just been me and my mother. Look, it's nothin. I'll be alright. Let's just do this project." I tried to push past the problem.

"I don't wanna see you going through shit, Mo. I know we don't know eachother well but you're my only friend here. I don't use that term lightly, either. " Pac brushed my hair behind my ears.

Tongue in cheek, I looked down.

"You got a telly?" He asked.

"Can't really afford one." I smirked.

"Damn, so how Ima know if you need me in case of a emergency?" Pac cocked his head.

I looked at him and made a face.

"No offense, but you're not my savior. You did me justice one time.. I ain't gon run to you like you're my lord. Bump that." I spat.

"Can you depend on someone else to help you with no problem?"

"I don't need nobody. I'm straight." I hissed.

Pac tucked his lower lip under his teeth and wrote something down on a piece of paper.

He handed the paper over to me.

"At your lowest... You're always gonna need at least one person. If ain't nobody else up to par, I'd wanna be there for you. So take my information. You know, just in case."

I read the paper and it was a phone number and his address.

"Tupac, I'll be fi-" I stopped talking when I saw his finger go up.

"Just... In.. Case."

***

I woke up to find my shirt up and my bra strap popped.

Damn, I must've slept like a animal.

I heard "Greatest Love Of All" by Whitney Houston playing loudly, outside my room.

I walked out to see mama in the kitchen, crying.

I got closer and realized her lip was busted.

I turned the music down.
"What happened?!" I rushed over to her.

"I fell..." She avoided eye contact.

"On what, a fist ? Mama, I'm not stupid. What happened?"

"Dammit, Monika! All you do is remind me why you're a mistake! Get the hell away from me!" She slammed her fist.

I looked at her.

"Go on, get!" She yelled.

I went back to my room and stared at my ceiling

Don't take it personal.
Don't take it personal.
Don't take it personal.
Don't take it personal.

The tears krept out, and trickled down.

Her and I were crying at the same time, in different rooms.

I heard mama turn the music back up and it was another Whitney Houston song.

"Don't make me close one more door
I don't wanna hurt anymore
Stay in my arms if you dare
Or must I imagine you there
Don't walk away from me...
I have nothing, nothing, nothing
If I don't have you."

***