Changez

•20•

I angrily packed all of my belongings into my suitcase.

"After all I did for him?!!? Unbelievable." I spoke to myself,

I left everything he paid for untouched, but I was tempted to burn the house down. I heard the door unlock and in came Pac on the phone.

"We ain't gon ever stop beefing! Fuck that fat nigga and fuck bad boy! Kim better keep her mouth shut before I have someone tap her ass, too! All these faggots keep toying with me like I won't end lives and- hold up... Mo, what the fuck you doin, baby girl? Yo, Cease, ima call you back. Mo.. what's up?!" He said snatching some clothes out of my hand and throwing them on the bed.

"Don't act like you care now, you bald piece of shit." I spat, grabbing my clothes right back up.

"Wh- where that come from?! I know you done lost your mind."

"How bout I found it? Huh?! After all we been through? How could you, Tupac? How the fuck could you? You got me out here lookin bout dumb as a crackhead fighting for you and you acting a whole ass fool. Fuckin these bitches that don't give a damn about you! Behind my back! Giggling in my face, knowing I'm being played like a Goddamn fiddle."

"Baby, you trippin. Put all ya shit down. You not goin no where. Don't be listening to shit that you ain't got no proof of. What are you, a fuckin retard?"

"A fuckin retard... I saw your black ass coming out of Jada's crib! I saw that fuckin kiss! I know what the hell is up! Stop lying!"

"I never said I didn't, Mo." He looked at me and my heart shattered.

"Don't come chasing after me when shit becomes too hard to handle, aiight? I been here for you. Standing on one foot, with your problems on my back, outweighing my own. You could've at least had the decency to tell me you no longer wanted to be with me instead of cheating. I wouldn't have begged to keep you around, believe me-"

"Mo, don't be stupid. If I wanted to leave you, I would've dropped you like a bad habit. Don't let a couple of hoochies ruin what we got." He tried to hold on to my waist.

"What do we got? You ain't been the same since Left passed and you sure as hell ain't been right since you got famous! So what the fuck do we got? It was what we had, Pac. That was special. I guess it was only special to me, because if I would've mattered to you, you would've never did me this dirty." I wiped my tears, before they could fall.

"Monika, answer me this, because ima be straight regardless. Where you gon go? Huh? You forgot I was the only person you had?" He remained in my face .

"Shit, I still got a mama. Whatever it takes, cuz this, right here, I don't need." I pushed past him to get to the door.

"No you don't..." Pac began.

I turned around and eyed him viciously.
"I don't what, Pac?" I raised a eyebrow.

"Your mama died... last year. They couldn't find you, but they found me. She couldn't have a proper burial, so they cremated her. I was gonna tell you but I figured you could go without knowing. Not like you were talking about any reconciliation with her anyways." He shrugged.

"You sounding like someone you hated... Khadijah. Heartless. Even though your mother did her filth, she was still your queen and mother right?"

Pac looked down.

"Yeah, exactly. You make me sick. I don't even know who you are anymore. I meant it when I said don't reach out to me anymore. You're dead to me, just like everyone else." I unlocked the door and stepped out.

"Monika... I -" I slammed the door shut before I could hear anything else come out of his deceiving grill.

My heart was heavy and my head was spinning. Too much was going on and I couldn't take it. I was strong but not enough.

As soon as I got in my car, the waterworks began. I rested my head on the steering wheel and tried to hold myself together a little bit. I heard a knock on the window.

"Mo! I'm sorry! Come out and talk to me!" Pac's voice made my soul burn.

"MONIKA!" He barked

I shot up and put my key in the ignition, driving off, desiring no part of him.
I ain't know where I was headed but far away was my destination.

How did I get here?