Changez

•46•

Tupac didn't make it.

I just remember crying and kissing him until they had to carry me out of the hospital.

My world collapsed all over again. My best friend, my mama... the only man I ever loved.

All gone.

I couldn't cry enough tears. My eyes just wouldn't dry.

I failed him. My first love, the only man that cared to protect me was taken away from me, just like that.

The world was in a frenzy and I was on the edge of everything, ready to jump off. I wasn't me anymore.

Keke walked into my room as I sat with my chin on my knees, staring ahead with his last words running through my mind.

He just knew I was pregnant...

"Mo baby, you gotta get out this funk." She moved my hair out my face.

"I can't." My voice cracked.

"Mo, God's gonna get you through-"

"There is no God..." I cut her off

"Wa- wait a minute, Mo let's be careful here."

"Yeah? For what? I ain't do nothing to deserve this shit, Keke. I done been through so fuckin much, I done stayed ten toes down and I ain't wrong nobody, tell me what God would allow all the pain I'm facing now!" I hissed.

There was a long silence.

"Girl, I know it's tough...but that ain't no way to be speaking, you have a blessing on the way, boo."

"My life has been complete shit, Keke. Great moments, but the bad outweigh them. I'm starting to feel like the black widow... all my peoples dead." My voice broke.

Keke rested her hand on my back.

"I feel for you, baby." She softly spoke.

I said nothing.

"We need to get you out the house... somewhere, anywhere." She suggested.

"I can't." I spat.

"You can and you need to, Mo. We'll take you somewhere low-key. I just need you to get some air. This ain't good for you."

I exhaled, not wanting to move.

"Mo..." Keke nudged me.

"Alright. I guess I could go for some ice cream."

***

"The fuck do you mean he quit? Tupac was just cremated!" I barked.

"Ma'am, Baldwin no longer works here. He resigned immediately following Mr.Shakur's cremation. He informed no one of his resignation, his belongings weren't in it's station..."

"So you're telling me... the bastard that cremated my man vanished?!" I hollered into the phone.

"That's what it seems like...yes. At this point, no one has been able to reach him. We're infuriated by this as well Ms.Allen, we have so many questions unanswered." The detective responded.

I hung up the phone and screamed until I had no air left in my body.

For once in my life... there was nothing I could do. I felt hopeless and weak.

"How the fuck could this happen?!" I yelled, causing Khadijah to rush in.

"Wh- what's going on?!?" She panicked.

"The mitherfucka who cremated Pac went ghost! These folks talkin bout they don't know where he went!" I spat.

"What?!" She quickly responded.