Changez

•21•

I sat in a Cafe near my new home, trying to clear my mind.

I clenched my jaws at the sight of Pac on the small TV; he was being interviewed and going off about police brutality, racism, and problems black people as a race was facing.

He spoke well, I wish I could've been proud of him but all I could see was the nigga that ripped my heart out my chest and stomped on it.

I took a sip from my hot chocolate, then twiddled my thumbs- not being sure of my next  move.

My focus remained so fixated on my thumbs, the footsteps nearing me were a non factor.

"M-mo?" I heard a woman's voice.

I looked up and met gazes with a very pregnant Khadijah.

We both stood silently, but never broke eye contact.

"Girl, I'm so sorry!" She took me into her arms and embraced me. A way she's never embraced me before... it was a hug that was...needed.

Before I knew it, I was holding her back, tears rolling down my face.

"I - I missed you." I spoke.
"I missed you more, Mo, I did you so filthy. You was a great friend, you ain't deserve all that I did." Khadijah let go, and sat across from me.

She wiped her own tears and looked at me.

"I've been keeping up with you. That's why I'm here... Mo, I know you going through it. I know I wasn't there before, but I'm sure as hell gonna be now."

"Why you ain't reach out?" I asked.

"I was afraid... people grow up and have resentment for those who did them wrong. Shit, I ain't know if you was gon punch me or not, when you saw me." She cracked a smile.

"Where's Rodney?" I asked.

"That fool done ran off with Kapri..." she looked down.

"Who's baby?" I threw my chin at her round stomach.

"His." She flared her nose.

"Wha-? How the hell-?"

"I was getting played the whole time, Mo. she pregnant too. I guess he chose his side. Ima keep my baby though. I ain't finna be a statistic. I laid down with the man, Ima keep what comes out of it." She exhaled.

"My homegirl done grew the fuck up." I smiled.

"You know this. What's going on with bullethead? Got a lil money now he acting a fool?" Kadijah raised a eyebrow.

"I don't even know what it is... that ego bigger than a motherfucka, though. Dijah, I can spend all day talking about Pac but I wanna know about my mama. Why you ain't call me?" I asked.

"I wanted to." Her head hung. "After Daniel got  iced, she went missing in action. Rumors was floating, I ain't know what to believe. I was hearing she got clean and moved to Philly. I assumed if that was the case, she would've reached out to you in her own time." Dijah got quiet.

"And then..?" I asked.

"Then I saw her... I Swear, I didn't know it was her, Mo. Her hair had fallen out, she was bone- thin. I- I- I- I felt bad for her my damn self.  I hate to think I'm one of the last people she spoke to because she was being treated like a leper. She kept... she kept asking for you. She kept saying 'I neglected my baby. I just want her to know I love her. I need to know she's okay' and-"