As long as you love me (kevin and you)

Tears Part 1/2

This is stupid, I'm stupid. 

How the hell did he get me to have feelings for him again? I hate him so much! I hate his personality, I  hate his hair, his smile...his...beautiful smile... ARGH! This isn't right. I need to focus on my plan. Laura is going to kill me! 

 Today I was supposed to meet Kevin, but something came up with his family that he couldn't come, which makes me really sad. I decided to stay in the house today with Jun, it's been a while since I've spent quality time with him, and to be honest, I miss that a lot. 

"Hey sis, can I talk to you about something? Please don't get mad..." Jun spoke while making the popcorn for the movie we're about to watch, he seemed a bit scared. 

"Sure, what's up?" I smiled. 

"Why are you with Eli? You used to say how much you hated  him, how he's the last person you wanted to be with. What changed your mind?" 

I looked at him for a few seconds not knowing how to answer his question, I didn't expect this. 

"Well, It's... hard to explain Jun" 

"I'm willing to listen"

I sighed. "Well, Laura and I planned to take revenge on him, and yes I know it's stupid but... doesn't he deserve it? Lying to both of us like that? Using us as if we were some toys then left us whenever he got bored and found a new toy. That's not fair, for anyone, not just us" I spoke feeling my voice break a few times, I don't know why but I wanted to cry. 

"Sis.." he whispered. 

"No... I don't care if revenge is stupid, I know our parents taught us that you should always kill people with kindness, but sometimes that shit doesn't work, yes you get a reaction from them, but that's not enough for me... I want him to feel what he made me feel, I want to break his heart like he broke mine, I want him to know that I'm not the weak girl that everyone make fun of anymore... Can't I do that?" Im this moment tears were falling onto my cheeks down to the floor. Remembering all those things still hurts no matter how much time goes by. 

"Sis.." he hugged me. "I know it hurts, but what if in the end you're the one who gets hurt? What if you end up falling for him again? I don't want to see you hurt again like that. There's so many other things you can do to forget him, he's not worth the struggle, he's not worth seeing your smile, seeing your tears. You deserve a guy who loves you and wants to make you happy, not a guy who only wants you to have "fun". You deserve more..." 

I couldn't hold the tears anymore as I started to cry in his chest, I've been holding my tears for so long, I've been strong for so long that I can't take it anymore, I can't take this pain, this weight on my shoulders.. 

"Why me? Why am I going through all of this? What did I do wrong that life decides to punish me this way? It's not fair! " I sobbed... 

"Life isn't fair now, but I will get better one day... I promise"