Dying on the inside || Lashton

10

a/n: dude the NA tour just started and I got to see them at Mohegan in the second row on Friday, I'm still dead (':

the tour started again. their shows were closely spaced with little travel time. it was hectic. every night, they'd get up on stage and perform live for thousands of fans. the boys had a strong love for each and every performance.

they had just finished the Hershey show, and they were back in their hotel room.

Michael's eyes shined with pure joy, but for once, he was quiet after the show. he stood, with a slice of pizza in his hand, smiling from ear to ear. Calum was being the loud one, making snapchat videos, yelling so loud that they were probably gunna get noise complaints. Luke and Ashton sat on the bed furthest from the door, holding hands, afraid to do anything more since cal was recording. they weren't out to fans quite yet, and didn't plan on coming out tonight.

"Calum, shut up already." Michael rolled his eyes.

"What?" Calum turned off his phone and looked at Michael.

"shut up, and eat some pizza. being loud is my thing, and I'm currently not doing it, so you shouldn't either." he smirked, knowing he shut him up.

Calum grumbled a few hateful words at Michael and grabbed some pizza.

he stood next to Michael and the two stared at the two boys on the edge of the bed who were now cuddled up. Ashton leaned against his boyfriend and smiled up at the boy who had his arms wrapped protectively around him.

"oh, my god. Calum what have you started. this is gross." Michael said.

"haha, at least we don't have to sleep with the little gay children. I get to sleep next to you, bud. the love birds get to sleep together." Calum laughed.

"Calum..." Michael sighed. "I thought you knew I was bi?"

"what? you never told me?"

"I was in a relationship with that guy from home for three months Calum!"

"oh god. do not infect me with your gay. why is my entire band gay?"

"I'm bisexual. do I need to spell it for you? I'm only half gay. and so is Luke."

"same difference."

"No, it's not!" Michael exclaimed.

Luke looked over at the two who were practically yelling at each other over sexualities. "oh no, here they go again." Luke sighed. Ashton let out a giggle. "hey! shut up, we were having a moment." Luke scoffed,

"yeah, a gay, cute, fluffy, really gay, moment." Calum laughed.

"Calum shut the fuck up already." Michael rolled his eyes.

"Nothing against all of you, I just think it's odd that my entire band is gay." Michael gave him a look. "or half gay." Calum scoffed.

Luke ran his fingers through Ashton's hair, watching Michael continue to yell at Calum, after Calum surrendered.

Calum and Michel continued to yell at each other  as they chased each other around the small hotel room.

Ashton giggled quietly as he removed himself from underneath Luke's arm. he got up, and walked toward the pizza box that sat on the dresser. trying his best not to get between the screaming boys, Ashton leaned against the dresser and ate a slice of pizza.

seeing Luke smile at him from across the room made it easier to down the slice. when he finished, he moved the last two slices, even though Michael would eat them at 2 am later, to the mini fridge and sat down on the small couch in the room.

Luke quietly watched Ashton pull out his phone and scroll through Twitter. he watched the small smile on Ashton's face fade quickly. ash clicked the power button off on the side of his phone. he looked up and smiled at Michael, and acted like nothing had happened on Twitter.

Luke got up and walked over to Ashton, sitting down with him. "who said what?" Ashton ignored him, laughing along with Calum. "Ashy?"

Ashton blushed at the nickname. "I- uh, no one said anything, it's what they did."

Luke's face became puzzled, not knowing what he meant. "What?"

"uh, you know, how, before the concert, we were outside the stadium, behind it, and we thought no one could see us?" ash fidgeted with his bracelets.

"Jesus Christ do not tell me there's pictures of us on Twitter." Luke dropped his face into his hands.

"uh, as far as I know, no one knows we kissed there, but there's two or three pictures of us floating around from where I dragged you back there holding you hand, and there's one of you holding me in a tight hug..." Ashton's eyes teared up. "oh god what if they piece it together, lukey? what do we do?"

"I-um, I don't know. I guess we become public if they do. but we aren't saying anything about the subject, understand?"

Ashton nodded, letting a tear slip down his face. Luke grabbed his chin, wiping the tear, and making him look him in the eye. "hey. Hey, do not cry. it's gunna be okay."

"D-do you not want to come out..?" Ashton let a few more tears slip.

"Uh, not like this. eventually, but not right now." Luke sighed, pulling ashton into a tight hug. "Shhh, it'll be okay."

Michael and Calum had stopped, and were quietly listening to their conversation. Luke gave them a tense smile, slightly worried, slightly relaxed.

Michael went to the bathroom, and after he closed the door, the room was silent. ash had stopped crying and was now curled up in Luke's lap, and Calum sat on the floor facing them.

suddenly, the bathroom door opened. the three boys faced him. he looked panicked.

"uh, I think we're gunna have bigger problems than your relationship getting out." Michael said.

Calum snorted. "Like what? The smell of the bathroom after you've eaten half a pizza? We're used to it."

"n-no. Have any of you been on twitter in the past ten minutes??" the boys shook their heads, seeming extremely concerned. "wanna guess what's all over my feed?"

Luke became puzzled once again. Calum stood up, confused. Ashton's eyes flashed with fear.

"Ashton, when we were in LA, what did you do with fans?" Michael asked,

"ex-excuse me?" Ashton said, sitting up.

"Oh god, not like that. that'd probably be better than this." Michael tugged at his hair.

"Uh, I mean, I found a few on the street but all the pictures from that were gone now..."

Michael sighed. "not this one. apparently this fan just found a picture of you giving a bracelet to a fan. but, not only did you give a fan a bracelet, you showed your marks to the whole fricken world."