Betelgeuse-A Beetlejuice Novel

Chapter 2: First Met: NA

  Neitherworld/BJ's Roadhouse...

Mit appeared in front of the Roadhouse and knocked on Beetlejuice's door. "Mister Juice?"

"Mister?" Beetlejuice answered the door undignified. "My name's not mister. That's my dad." He took a second glance at Mit. "Who are you?"

"I need you to answer three questions," Mit demanded quickly.

"Alright, let's see," Beetlejuice grinned. "Who's the dumbest spider in the world who can't tapdance? Ginger."

"Hey," Ginger yelled at him as she walked by. "That's not nice."

"Who is nice? Not me," Beetlejuice snickered. "Who's the biggest bonehead-"

"That's enough!" Mit interrupted. "I need you to answer these questions." He handed the list to Beetlejuice.

"Oh, that's easy." Beetlejuice said as he stared at the list. "Number one is how a certain person entered the neitherworld. Number two is Y-O-U-R-space-N-A-M-E. Number three is probably just about everybody. There you go."

Mit looked down at the paper. How did he come up with those answers?

1. EXPLAIN IN DETAIL HOW YOU DIED.
2. WHAT IS THE CORRECT WAY TO SPELL YOUR NAME.
3. WHO APPROVED OF YOUR DEATH?

Mit groaned. "Mister Juice. This is important. I need you to answer seriously."

"Seriously," Beetlejuice answered.

"Sir," Mit groaned. "Please. This is very important."

Beetlejuice tilted his head. "Why?"

"I can't say."

"Well, I can't answer."

"I need an answer."

"Well, I need money. Everyone needs something." Beetlejuice held his hand out.

Mit looked at his hand and sighed. He yanked out his wallet and gave Beetlejuice some money.

"Whoa-hoah!" Beetlejuice counted the money. "Hey, this is important, isn't it?"

"Please answer them," Mit said firmly again.

Beetlejuice looked at the list once more. "I don't know how I died. It's usually B-E-E-T-L-E-J-U-I-C-E. Sometimes it shows up on bills and stuff with a different spelling." He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know what you mean by who approved of my death. I'm always dead. Well, that was easy money."

"Wait." Mit looked at Beetlejuice strangely. "You don't remember how you died?"

Beetlejuice shrugged his shoulders. "So?"

"Everyone knows how they died," Mit answered. No matter how much time passed in the Neitherworld, no one ever forgot the tragic day they left the living. "Even if you don't remember, you should have been informed. Didn't Juno tell you how you died?"

Beetlejuice stuck his tongue. "That weirdo? She took like five years before she even got to me." He held his hand out and a copy of The HandBook For the Recently Deceased flew into his hands. "Never bothered reading this thing at first." He threw it at Mit and another book appeared in his hand titled The Handbook For the Not So Recently Deceased. "This one sucked too." He threw it on top of the other book Mit now carried. He kept pulling out handbooks and throwing them at Mit until there was a stack of twenty. "Aha, now this was one I liked." He held his book The Handbook for 1001 ways to find Beetles. "That's a keeper."

Mit couldn't take the uneven weight and fell over on his side, books tumbling down on him. "Ow." Beetlejuice snacked on a beetle while Mit was slowly getting back up.

"Hey BJ? Who's he?" Lydia came to the front door to see who it was.

Beetlejuice grinned and flashed his money at her. "I don't know but I like him. Hey, let's go to the Shocking Mall."

Mit stared at Beetlejuice. Either his death was supposed to be relatively simple to remember, or his case worker should have told him. Then again, Juno wanted that as an answer? He dusted himself off and left the roadhouse in a hurry. This wasn't good.

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Neitherworld/File Bureau...

Mit arrived shortly back at Juno's office. "He said he does not remember his death. He doesn't understand approve, and he seems to be confused about his own name. Juno? Do you know how he died?"

"It was simple," Juno said. "I was told it was simple and I didn't need to show up."

"If it's so simple, then why doesn't he remember?" Mit asked. "And how was he approved if he doesn't even understand what that means?"

Juno picked up the phone to talk to one of her superiors. It would have been easier getting answers from Beetlejuice, but if he actually did not remember, she had no choice.

Mit watched the conversation. Juno kept a straight face but he could hear through the phone how mad her superiors were. After some time there was a pause.

Beetlejuice's files were missing. Juno hung up and stared at the papers again. A missing death recollection, two strange documentations, a missing approver, and missing files. She glared. ". . . I sense foul play."

"With that ghost, what else is new?" Mit groaned.

"Not by his hand. For once," Juno added. "Headquarters is finding any files they can of him." She pointed at Mit. "Was he with anyone suspicious? His friends?"

"Actually, there was a human there," Mit commented. "Alive and well visiting him."

"Visits are permitted with documentation. Still, it won't hurt to check." Juno opened her top drawer and pulled out a file labeled BEETLEJUICE PRANKS. She never remembered anyone she worked with, even if it was just five minutes ago. Except for him. He was always a pain. She looked through the file. Surely his human companion would be in there somewhere. "Lydia Deetz. Look for documentation on Lydia Deetz."

Mit nodded his head and got to work. When he came back, he still didn't look happy. "Lydia Deetz' file." He put it on her desk.

Juno picked up the file and started to read.

NAME: LYDIA DEETZ
STATUS: LIVING
AGE: 18
POWER: NONE
ESCORT: BEETLEJUICE
VISITATION PROBLEMS: NO
FIRST MET: NA

"What is this on their first meeting?" Juno frowned. "Go back to Beetlejuice. Find out how they first met."

Mit groaned. Back and forth, back and forth...

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Neitherworld/BJ's Roadhouse...

Mit went to Beetlejuice's place again and saw him floating and laughing with the human. "Excuse me," He interrupted them. "How did you two first meet?"

"Ooh. More money?" Beetlejuice cackled and rubbed his hands together excitedly.

"BJ." Lydia sighed and looked at Mit. "Why do you want to know that?"

"He won't answer, Babe." Beetlejuice brought them both down to the ground. "He just wants answers. And to give me money!"

"Could you please answer for me?" Mit asked Lydia. Hopefully the human would be easier to deal with.

"Sure." Lydia smiled. "Oh, let's see. It's been awhile. I remember meeting him . . ." She was trying to remember. " . . . it was after a school session. I came into my room, and he was waiting there in my mirror. I thought I was dreaming at first."

"How did you find her mirror?" Mit asked in interest.

Beetlejuice scratched his cheek. "I don't know. I just heard her say she needed a friend. I was bored so poof."

"How did you hear her?"

Beetlejuice shrugged his shoulders. "Who cares?"

"Why did you not fill this out on your visitation document of Lydia Deetz?" Mit growled at him.

"Docuwhat?" Beetlejuice just looked at him funny. "I never filled out anything."

"Then how was she allowed to come over here," Mit yelled. "Who filled it out?!"

" . . ." Beetlejuice and Lydia just shrugged their shoulders.

"I didn't know about documentation." Lydia looked over at Beetlejuice.

Beetlejuice just waved it off. "Aah, it's some official channel to have visitors come. I wasn't gonna worry about it 'til I got caught."

"You didn't get caught because it was filled out." Mit answered. Bad, bad, bad.

"Who'd want to fill it out for Beetlejuice?" Lydia asked suspiciously.

Mit disappeared very quickly. Bad, bad, bad.

Lydia just watched him disappear a bit worried. "BJ? Why is he so interested in you?"

"Who isn't interested in me? I'm the ghost with the most, Babe!"

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Neitherworld/File Bureau . . .

Mit marched straight over to Juno. "Seriously bad. Beetlejuice did not fill out the visitation documents on her."

"What?" Juno couldn't believe it. She didn't want to believe it. "Call the WDP's."

"The WDP's?" Mit couldn't believe it. "Are you sure it's that-"

"Call the WDP's!" Juno demanded again. "Give them everything we have on Beetlejuice and Lydia Deetz. Go now."

Mit hurried as fast as he could to his own phone. Juno meant business! Whatever was going on, it was big. It was really big. The WDP's were the World Defenders and Protectors. Whether the living world or the neitherworld, they were the watchers of both. They were only bothered by case workers for the biggest of problems.

Juno stared at the files in front of her. "So naïve . . ." To the layman it looked like goofed up file problems with a ghost who had befriended a human. That was it. To her, she saw more . . .

She saw danger . . .

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Living World/Lydia's Bedroom...

The next day...

"Though I know I should be weary, Still I venture someplace scary. Ghostly haunting I turn loose. Beetlegoose, Beetlegoose, Bsetlegoose! What?" Lydia looked confused. "Beetlegoose, Beetlegoose, Beetlegoose!" Lydia felt her throat. "Why can't I gust say Beetlegoose? Beetleg-g-g-goose!" She looked at the mirror. "Do I have a weird cold? Maybe I gust have a weird cold. Gust . . . gust?"

It was quickly becoming apparent to Lydia someone had messed up her voice somehow. But who and why? "Beetlegoose is gonna laugh like crazy once he shows up," Lydia groaned. "Okay...geeraffe?" She still could not say the soft g. "Orange goose? Really, this is becoming gust annoying." She crossed her arms. Beetlejuice better show up soon then. She stared at her mirror for awhile but he hadn't come. "What's going on?"

"Lyyyyydiiiaaaa! Doo-Oooooor!"

Lydia sighed. Maybe when she came back, her weird cold would go away.

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Neitherworld/BJ's Roadhouse...

Beetlejuice was waiting for Lydia to call him, but so far, she hadn't. "Probably delayed by some pest at her door again." He had said it out loud thinking no one heard him.

"What pest?" Jacques asked as he came over. He smiled. He had a feeling he knew what Beetlejuice was talking about.

"Nothing." Beetlejuice didn't want to talk about that. Instead, he felt like doing something else.

"Beattlejuuuiiiice!!" Jacques whined as he started to run away from him.

Beetlejuice let his tongue flap out in the air as he chased the skeleton. Sure, if he was collared he'd have to stay in that form like before, but who cared? It was ages ago and tormenting Jacques by being a dog was better fun than Jacques tormenting him. When he finally made the skeleton fall to pieces by pulling at him, he laughed and changed back.

With Jacques limping and picking up his fallen bones, Beetlejuice went back to the Roadhouse to wait for Lydia. Maybe he could go peak through her mirror to make sure everything was okay? He was considering it when he went back inside, but just a few seconds later, he heard a knock.

Beetlejuice was staring at the new visitors who greeted him at his opened door. Jacques was also staring at them. Ginger was staring at them. The monster across the street was staring at them. Anyone within seeing distance was staring at them. "Uh." For once, Beetlejuice didn't know what to say. In all his years, he had never seen a WDP, let alone three. Standing at his front door? There they were though, with the emblems upon their jackets. They looked completely human but had a strange aura that was always surrounding them. Oh no, Beetlejuice wouldn't tangle with them. "I swear I didn't do it! I don't know what you heard, but I just pull pranks. I don't do anything dangerous, honest! I-!"

"Quiet," One of them said firmly.

Beetlejuice held his hands up. He didn't know why they were there, but he wouldn't put up a fight. He wouldn't even argue. If he did anything they disapproved of, they'd find his weak spot and use it against him. Whether that was sandworms or Lydia, he didn't want to chance either one.

One of the WDP's took his hand filled with some kind of shiny dust. He went over to Beetlejuice and sprinkled it on him. "There. It's done."

Beetlejuice blinked. He rubbed some of the dust off of himself but a lot had already been absorbed somehow.

Two of the WDP's quickly took off. One stayed though.

Beetlejuice didn't like the look he was receiving. "What?"

The WDP sighed. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry. There's no other choice." He snapped his fingers and he himself was gone.

Beetlejuice didn't like what that last WDP said. Not one bit. He snapped his fingers to go to Lydia's world. He had to figure out what they did.

Only thing is . . . he couldn't?

"Did they steal my juice?" Beetlejuice turned Ginger into a snake. "No, that's fine." He turned her back and quickly disappeared before he could get yelled at.

He tried returning to Lydia's world again. "Nothing?" This wasn't good. Sure, Beetlejuice couldn't run amuck in her world without Lydia setting him free with his name three times, but he could always see her. He could always find a way to see her, even without his juice. "Living room?" He tried to appear in the living room in a limited form. "School?" He tried to appear before her school in some limited form. "Freaking Grand Canyon?!" He tried to even appear within the Grand Canyon. It was nowhere near Lydia, but it did prove something. "I can't go to her world?" He looked at himself. Surely the WDP's didn't do that? Why would they care to keep him from seeing her? "Great! Fine, it doesn't matter!" He crossed his arms. He disappeared and then reappeared to the entrance door between their worlds. He'd just have to take a different way. " . . ." He tried to open it.

But it wouldn't open?