Betelgeuse-A Beetlejuice Novel

Chapter 15: Kathleen

  Disclaimer: I do not own Beetlejuice or related characters, he belongs to Tim Burton. I do not own Beetlegeuse. I don't own Betelgeuse? I don't own any of the weird spellings for his name.

Betelgeuse?

Written By: Melanie Ray

Chapter Fifteen: Kathleen

A resounding knock was heard as a nosy neighbor knocked on the door. "Hello? Miss Smith?"

Kathleen answered the door a bit disheveled. Even her blonde hair was hanging down and a frizzy mess. "What."

"Grumpy, grumpy," the lady teased. "I came by to invite you for a social gathering tomorrow. I daresay we were all upset when you didn't show up for the last one." She peeked a look into the house. "Oh honey, you really need to get a maid. It looks like you've been tossing things all over," she giggled. "Being pregnant is no reason to-?" The door was quickly shut on her. "Ah? Well, I never!"

"Sorry." Kathleen opened it back up. "It was the wind."

"Oh it's quite alright, Katie," The woman exclaimed. "I understand."

"It's Kathleen, Margarette." Kathleen tried to smile politely, but couldn't quite manage it.

"Of course, Kath, I'm sorry." Margarette apologized. "So you'll come then? You haven't been very social for the last week or so hon."

Kathleen laughed politely as she quickly grabbed a spatula that was being thrown at Margarette from the kitchen. She fortunately caught it mid-air.

Unfortuntely Margarette noticed it too. "What are you doing with that spatula?"

Kathleen quickly put it down to her side. "Cooking soon."

Margarette lightly laughed. "Neat magic trick, if you are into that sort of thing."

"Sure." Kathleen went with the flow. "I'll see if I have time. I don't know. I've got so much to do."

"Well, just try and show up at least," Margarette warned her. "You don't want to become a social outcast. Bye."

Kathleen closed the door as Margarette walked off.

"Tough time?"

Kathleen turned around and saw Vernie, the WDP. "What do you want?"

"Why have you started ignoring everyone? You're supposed to be-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. A social freaking butterfly." She dropped the spatula. But instead of dropping to the floor it hit Vernie square in the head. "Don't blame me. BG sensed I didn't like you. It's not my fault."

"BG?" Vernie smiled as he rubbed his head. "Surprise, surprise. I thought you'd name it BJ."

"Then I would have had you coming down and berating me," Kathleen insisted. "BG's fine. G isn't even in 'his' name. What do you want?" Kathleen asked. "I'm nine months preggy. I feel like crap. I need a nap."

"Hey." Vernie felt the TV remote hit him in the head. "Okay, alright." He rubbed his head. "BG isn't playing nicely with your friends? Is that why you're having troubles?"

"Oh no, I'm sure they won't notice things being launched at them."

"He probably doesn't like the sound of their voices. Or if you don't really like them, it might be making him feel bad so he's aiming at the problems . . ." Vinnie caught the remote being thrown again. "Caught it."

Kathleen watched as Vernie grabbed the VCR remote only to be smacked with a small television behind him. "Don't underestimate him," She lightly smiled.

Vernie surrounded himself in a small barrier. "I can't believe I have to do this."

"Full of violence and trickery as well. Definitely related to my brother."

Kathleen watched Donny barreling toward her from the doorway. "Donny?"

Donny smiled from the somersault he was currently in. "Yes. Some help?"

Vernie dropped his barrier and helped Donny up. "I get a TV thrown at my head and you get barreled into the room in front of Kathleen? Someone's playing favorites."

"Donny?" Kathleen repeated again. "Donny?"

"Don't get excited," Vernie warned her. "Not much has changed. Donny's got an excellent recommendation to help out for a little while, that's all." He pointed at Kathleen. "Everything stays the same. The same undercover look. The same clothes. Only . . . we need some help." stomach. "With that one's little 'interference'."

Kathleen sighed. For some reason, Donny had done better quality control than the WDP could. Was it because of his relation to BJ? "Well, at least it'll be nice while it lasts."

"Well, if I can prove to them that I can be 'non-spooky' I'll be given a longer stay," Donny said. "Do you think I can be 'non-spooky'?"

"Heh." Kathleen actually gave him a small smile. "Donny, you're the non-spookiest spook there is." She crossed her arms almost in disbelief. Donny could possibly stay? "So who recommended you?"

"That's strictly on a need-to-know basis," Vernie interrupted. "He'll try not to be far so you can continue to be social. It's important you don't become a social outcast again. Staying with the in crowd will hide you the best."

"Yes," Donny agreed. "I can control the little one's shenani-" The carpet was pulled from beneath his feet. "...gans." Donny finished. "I don't think I'm someone's favorite anymore."

"What about later?" Kathleen had to ask. "I am nine months pregnant."

"I am quite qualified for that task too," Donny said. "He will be at his strongest, so I can't control everything. But caring old Uncle Donny will help bring the sweet baby boy into this wonderful world."

"And before you ask." Vernie saw it in her eyes. "No, he doesn't know how 'he' is doing. Our sources say that guy is fine. Just as fine as you remember him, but don't try and question Donny."

"Nope." Donny sighed. "I'm not allowed to see my own brother. Not right now at least."

"And if he gets this gig full time, then not until everyone involved in this passes on," Vernie added.

"Yes, it's kind of sad." Donny looked at Kathleen. "Do you think my brother can stand to be away from me for so long? I hope he doesn't become too sad because I love him so much."

Kathleen couldn't help but smile. She felt a lot happier than she had in months. At least he's okay. If he's haunting a place, then I bet he's having the time of his life, she told herself.

Donny dusted himself off. "Uncle Donny doesn't have as much power as 'him' in this state, but I should be able to control my nephew until he becomes older."

"In this state?" Kathleen noticed Donny's appearance. He was a lot less pale.

"He's temporarily human, as long as only we see fit," Vernie added. "Only because having a ghost as an uncle wouldn't quite fit the 'standard' look you're trying to portray for your son."

"Wait." Kathleen frowned. "You can give Donny temporary life but not-?"

"Careful," Vernie warned her. "The 'he' you're thinking of wasted a full second life, there was nothing temporary about it. When he died, he died. Even if we wanted to try and help him, he is in the haunting stage again. That isn't our jurisdiction." He pointed at Donny. "When he is no longer needed, it will be taken away, or if he physically dies again."

"I'll try not to do that." Donny smiled at her. "I will do my best because I love my family, and you all need me."

"But what if you do?" Kathleen asked worried. "Someone shot 'him' and if someone shoots Donny?" She looked at Vernie.

"We shouldn't dwell on that." Vernie tried to change the subject. "What do you think he'll look like?"

"You'll take BG away if something happens," Kathleen said knowingly. She wouldn't play into Vernie's hand. It didn't matter how friendly he acted toward her.

"No." Vernie became stoic. "We'd alleviate the controversy once and for all. It is what we intended to do, but we try not to harm those who do not deserve it. This is a safer and better option."

"Oh, I daresay you would have a bigger heap of trouble if you considered such a thing," Donny added. "Hurting Lydia would make my brother very, well, upset. It would make me sad as well but with my brother, it would...it wouldn't be a good upset."

"She's Kathleen," Vernie corrected him, "and if everything goes well, it'll be fine."

"Fine, but could you just go away? Please? I mean your frustrating me and everything." She started to cry. They could. They could bring him back if they wanted to, they couldn't hide it. "And I just don't want to deal with this stuff right now."

Donny and Vernie both watched as she started to yell and cry at the same time.

Vernie shrugged and whispered to Donny. "Good luck."

Donny watched as Vernie just disappeared. He looked back at Kathleen and smiled.

"Don't smile at me like that," Kathleen cried. "My life is a complete mess right now." She grabbed some of her dyed blonde locks. "Look at me. I'm so messed up. Who am I anymore?" She grabbed her hair. "I can't think straight. This hair needs done again. My natural hair rebels as much as I want to."

Donny continued to try to smile. "...it's not what's on the outside that-"

"Don't give me that," Kathleen yelled. "Yes it is. It's all on the outside." She held her hands out flirtatiously. "It's in the outside voice where I have to be, like, perfect." She grabbed her hair. "The blonde hair. The blush on the cheeks. The red lipstick. Everything is outside, and that's the only thing that counts." She started to stamp her foot and the tears came unwillingly. "I hate my life. I can't even keep this house under control."

Donny wanted to offer words of sympathy, but he just didn't know what to do. Kathleen was concerned about her looks? Over the whole WDP thing she was dwelling on her looks? "...there are worse things to-"

"No there's not, not according to Vernie and the others. I'm supposed to always be perfect on the outside. Who cares what's going on inside?" Kathleen yelled at him angrily. She suddenly became quiet and then cried again. "I'm sorry, I just, I hate myself. And I'm even out of mashed potatoes and I needmashed potatoes to eat my beetles in. It doesn't taste right if I don't."

"Okay, okay!" It was a little harder but Donny conjured up some mashed potatoes with beetles in them in a bowl for her. "Th-there?"

Kathleen sniffled and looked at the bowl.

Donny watched as she ate them up. "Better?"

"Much." She looked over at Donny. "Oh. I'm sorry." She tried to hide her tears again. "Sorry Donny, I didn't mean to yell at you. It's just... hard. It's so hard."

"What else do you need?" Donny asked worriedly.

"Nothing. I just have to cry." She sniffled.

Donny just stared at her for awhile.

Kathleen gained control of herself and sighed. "Sorry. I just had a moment. Can you conjure up something else? Like a cherry pop?" Donny smiled and conjured up some cherry pop. "With ice cream?" she added. Donny nodded and added a scoop of ice cream. "and some pickles," Kathleen added. Donny added pickle slices to it.

"No," she frowned. "Who has an ice cream cherry pop with sliced pickles? Dill spears of course."

Donny added two dill spears and took away the slices. "Is that it?"

Kathleen started to eat her treat with delight. "That's great, thanks."

"No, that isn't great." Vernie appeared beside Donny. "You should only use what powers you have to block the kids. Not conjure up treats."

"Sorry. I'm new at this. I promise, no more conjuring." Donny smiled.

Kathleen didn't say anything. She figured a bit of ice cream wouldn't do any harm.

"Kathleen." Vernie frowned. "Don't do that again."

"Donny did it. I requested but he did it," she said quickly, "you can't pin that on me."

"You're lucky you were only dealing with me," Vernie warned. "Not every WDP is that nice." He pointed at the treat. "Now conjure that out of here and don't do that anymore, Donny."

"No," Kathleen growled. "That's more conjuring which is inappropriate, remember? Besides, it's mine." She held it tightly. "I do everything you say to do. Everything. No questions asked, and all I want is one thing. One thing."

Donny and Vernie both took a step back.

"Okay," Vernie agreed as he whispered to Donny. "She can have that but not anymore because frankly I uh..."

Donny and Vernie both noticed flames coming from Kathleen. Literally.

"Just no more after that." He finished whispering to Donny.

"No more conjuring. I promise." Donny grinned. "Don't worry about us. I'll be safer, I just slipped."

"No more slipping," Vernie warned him as he disappeared.

Donny sighed. So far he wasn't doing such a good job. "I just live up the street." He laughed slightly. Heh, live. "If you need anything, just come by. It's always nice to have friends."

Kathleen finished her treat. "I'm sure I will later but I really need a nap. I'll see ya soon, Donny."

Donny smiled as he started to leave. At least he could still be a little helpful. He was very disheartened about his brother not being able to see her or his unborn child. Well, he'll at least meet them when they pass on as well. He thought, trying to think of something comforting.

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