Becoming a YouTuber?!

Chapter 16: Caspar's book launch

No one could question that I loved my sister... but sometimes her complete lack of situational awareness was not adorable. I knew many loved it because it meant she spoke her mind honestly in all situations, not worrying about repercussions. I still didn't like it.

I was getting ready for Caspar's book launch party at her flat. She had been over the moon when he had invited her along as well. It was the first time she had been asked to attend such an event that hadn't been hosted by a popular YouTuber that wasn't Nate.

"Isn't it ridiculous how people think you and Nate have broken up?" she said absentmindedly as she was glancing at her reflection trying to decide whether to go with the dress she was trying on.

"What?" I gulped and my hands unconsciously gripped tightly to the dress I was holding in my hands.

"Oh, you know, it's just the rumour mill as always. Didn't Megan update you as usual?" she asked, still carrying that nonchalant tone.

It was true I often conferred with Megan to learn what was said in "our fandom" because I liked to be on top of things. However since the fight I had had with Nate, I hadn't wanted to go near anything Natigail related.

A couple of days had passed and the silence had shot up like a wall between us. We had both busied ourselves with all of our projects. We still slept in our bed together but somehow every night I had failed to open my mouth and start a conversation as had Nate. I just didn't know what to say to him and that was something I had never felt before.

"No," I said softly, stroking the gorgeous material of the dress in my hand. It was one of those that Emma knew was slightly out of my comfort zone but she was convinced I would look amazing in.

"Well, it's just the absence of you in his vlogs for over a week. And then there's the whole travelling separately. You didn't go to Playlist with him and he didn't go to Creator Summit with you. He hung out with loads of female YouTubers and you hung out a lot with Jaspar," Emma said and now her voice had softened too. It seemed she had finally caught on that I wasn't too pleased with these revelations.

"Aha."

"But it's just rumours, Abbey. I just thought you wanted to know. And I know that it's a misconception. You didn't go to Playlist because of what happened last year and I know Nate couldn't go to New York because he was tied up in meetings. I didn't mean to upset you."

"You didn't," I lied. "Normally, I don't give a flying hoot about break up rumours. You know that..."

Emma walked up to me and crooked her head slightly askew.

"It's just we had a big fight after I left your flat a couple of days ago. I wanted to tell you but to be honest saying it out loud scares me."

"Wait, what?" Emma asked and clasped her hands over her mouth. She always had a flair for the dramatic. "Sorry, Abbey. I didn't realise. I mean I worried that might be the case but Megan urged me to drop it and stop assuming things. I'm sorry."

My sister enveloped me in a tight hug, the kind a best friend gives to reassure someone they love. 

"It's okay," I shrugged. "But we never fight, not properly and I don't know what to do about it."

"Was the fight brought on by all those worries about publicly sharing?" she asked.

I nodded. I retracted to non-verbal communication because I was afraid if I opened my mouth I might start crying. I hated the loss of control that crying came with and more logically, I didn't want to ruin the make-up Emma had spent ages applying to my face.

"But you're not broken up, right?"

I shook my head.

"Great," Emma said and sounded overly cheery. "Did you raise your voices? Did you get to say everything you wanted to tell him?"