Becoming a YouTuber?!

Chapter 17: Gun Violence

*Warning: Strong feelings about gun control and the shootings in Florida June 2016*

It's early Sunday afternoon and I was contemplating. I knew from too many times that it wasn't too healthy for me to get sucked into my own mind and contemplate some of life's big mysteries, or tragedies as in this case.

I did it anyway, feeling too emotional to even think clearly.

Over the weekend two shootings happened in Florida.

The first happened to a singer Christina Grimmie, who was meeting fans outside after her concert.

The second happened in a gay bar in Orlando, where over 50 people died in a mass shooting.

I was sat in my reading nook, hugging my legs and embracing the knot of fear in my stomach. Maybe it was selfish for me even to feel this affected when I knew the family and friends of the victims as well as the local community must be devastated. I felt it though.

I couldn't help it; I thought of how horrible it was but also how it felt too close for comfort to my loved ones. How many times has Nate been outside after events without security just to meet his viewers?

He practically did that every single time, sometimes even ditching security or going against their warnings because he wanted to at least give something back to the people, who helped him to where he is today.

He saw his viewers as friends but what if someone else slipped into the crowd that was an enemy?

I was so thankful that guns are such a rarity in England but Nate has been to events all the time in the America and the ease with which people seem to regard guns, weapons capable of great fatality, was disturbing to me.

I never really listened to Christina Grimmie's music but I knew Nate did back in the day at least. She was one of them, one of the OG YouTubers and she was out there doing what she loved when she was mercilessly gunned down. She was a YouTuber!

While I didn't have friends, who were openly homosexual until a couple of years ago, I now had many very close to me. The fact that club was targeted based on homophobia made my guts twist. Should I fear for Emma, Megan, Connor, Troye and Tyler every time they are out late?

Nate had been busy today, attending meetings even though it's Sunday. He had still packed his schedule as tight as possible, maybe to avoid our problems and me. However, I saw the sad sentiment in his eyes this morning. He hid it worse than me. I was sure today has been tough for him and made him worry more about being so casual about meeting what was essentially strangers.

I wished we didn't have to worry.

I'd grown to like spending time in America but obviously I'd been very sheltered from what might go on.

I pulled out my phone and sent out a text to my closest family and friends, just saying that I loved them. The fact so many people in Florida would never be able to say that to their loved ones broke my heart.

Less than a minute later, my phone rang and Emma's name flashed over the screen.

"Hi," she said through the phone sounding a bit croaked up.

"Ems, you okay?" I asked, my own voice still carrying a slight tremble.

I heard her sniffle and it seemed like she struggled to find her voice.

"Yeah... I am. It's just this has been a rubbish kind of day, you know? First Grimmie and now that club. Did you know I used to watch her videos back in the day?"

I shook my head but then I remembered that she couldn't see that.

"No," I said softly, suddenly wishing I was closer to my sister and we didn't live in opposite sides of London.