Becoming a YouTuber?!

Chapter 18: Honesty talk with the viewers

The following Saturday, I was sat in my nook curled up with a book. I had just tumbled straight out of bed after sleeping in for longer than I had planned. I hadn't even bothered to go make breakfast.

Maybe that was the reason my thoughts kept drifting as I attempted to read my book or maybe it was just because I had so much trouble quieting down all the buzzing thoughts in my head. Thoughts of university, thoughts of Vidcon, thoughts of a new exciting project I still couldn't tell people about...

It still weighed heavy on me just how the world seem to be falling apart and so many specific groups of people seemed to be targeted. It made my heart ache and I felt so helpless in what to do. Not that I let that stop me from trying.

Two days ago, I had uploaded a video I had filmed about my feelings on the tragedies. It was so difficult to film, as while I was very happy with my "artsy" footage I had to do the voice over three times before my voice sounded clear enough without the tremble it naturally carried whenever I thought too deeply about what I spoke of. I hadn't monetised the video as it simply felt wrong but I had left loads of links to different credible donation sites in the description.

I slammed my book closed. The Robert Galbraith novel deserved more than my fleeting attention. After all, she was also the author of Harry Potter, which was without a doubt my favourite children's book series ever. Maybe some fresh air would do me good.

I threw on a bra and my TRXYE jumper, keeping on the sweatpants and after a quick teeth brushing, left the flat. My stomach grumbled, so I swiftly ran to the baker shop on the corner and bought a Danish.

I was digging my face into it as I walked, undoubtedly smearing frosting all over my face but I couldn't care less. My face was still make-up free, even though I currently was breaking out while my hair took the term messy bun quite seriously.

I wasn't surprised that when a viewer called after me, they sounded rather unsure if they had seen correctly.

"Abbey?" a girl's voice called out hesitantly and I turned around to face her. She looked in her mid-20s and unlike me, she looked properly dressed to be walking around in public.

"Yes," I said and smiled kindly at her.

Instinctively, I wanted to apologise for looking like a mess. I had just thought the fresh air would do me some good and gone out without much worry about it. However, I didn't any attempt to address it. I just reminded myself that this was how I looked like and I didn't need to apologise for not dressing up or putting on make-up.

"I didn't mean to disturb you," the girl said moving closer. "I just really love your videos."

"Thank you," I said and wiped the corner of my mouth, causing myself to chuckle.

The girl smiled back brightly.

"I wanted to talk you for the voice you've created on your channel. It's a place for positivity and I agree with most of the topics you cover and I think you're slowly breaking down barriers of what's acceptable and what's not. I'm sorry if it's not my place to say but even just walking around outside looking like most of us would on a lazy Saturday is quite great. It's breaking down beauty barriers."

I felt a blush creep up my neck. It was easy to forget that my thoughts and points of views were so amplified through my social media, which was growing in numbers daily.

"Thank you," I said. "But honestly, it's not a big deal. Just living my normal life."

"You know what I would have wished? I would have wished that I had known about YouTubers like you, Zoe, Tanya and Niomi when I was a teenager. However, I'm glad that teenage girls now get to turn to you."