Becoming a YouTuber?!

Chapter 37: My favourite photographs

                 

I took a deep breath to try and steady myself. It felt surreal. After four years of university, I had handed in my final exam. I couldn't even fathom how much I'd changed since I moved to London with my sister and started at university. Emotions were threatening to overrun me, so I did what I often did when that happened and grabbed my trusted MacBook Air and pulled up my blog.

Hello my dear readers,

I hope you've enjoyed all the scenic photography centred blog posts as of late. I've been doing exams lately and when I got too in my head or needed a break from revising (read: procrastinating), I'd go out and about with my camera to focus my mind.

It's easier for me to frame a photo nicely rather than worry about the grammatical structure of a four-line sentence packed full of information. However, I've just handed in my final exam and I'm officially done with my undergraduate.

Obviously, I will still need final marks and such but I know for a fact that I'll pass my degree either way and perhaps I'll be able to nudge over the edge to get a 1st as well. But it feels final to hand in that last exam and I find myself feeling restless. I hope you well bear with me as I pour my thoughts out onto the screen because it's how I process things the best.

My life has changed a lot over the past four years and I even took a semester off, though I did catch up the following summer as to not get behind. I hate when things aren't on schedule but it taught me a valuable lesson to step away from everything sometimes, even for just a moment.

University has been a comfort and a rock for me. My parents were thrilled that I got into a university in London, studying mainly business with some selective photography courses. They thought that would be a safe space for their anxious daughter, who longed for structure and comfort. They weren't wrong and I'll forever be grateful for everything I learnt at university, in the classroom and outside of it.

But none of us ever really know how our lives will pan out. When I started university, this space was just a website where I posted my photos. It was only because of university that I started writing small one-paragraph stories to accompany my photographs and that was when my following on here grew. I might have an undergraduate in business, which should secure me that office job but I've found that my passion lends itself more towards the creative.

That's a scary feeling for someone, who was once terrified to have their comfort zone challenged. But I'm not the shy timid girl I was when I moved to London. I'm a confident, young woman now and I trust myself more than I did four years ago. I don't shy away from challenges like I did before; I push past the discomfort because I know the lesson I'll get out of it will make me become a better person.

University has been a big part of my life for so long and I'm not sure I know how not to be a university student. Even with a budding business with my brand (still sounds weird to say) Purely Clover Simplicity, I don't know how my "adult" life will pan out.

I'm scared again. It's the same kind of scared I felt when I was looking at university applications and housing around the UK. Moving out of my parents' house terrified me. Attending a prestigious university in London terrified me. But I did it. I survived it... in fact I conquered it.

So I feel the ball of fear in my stomach but it doesn't choke me up anymore. The future is uncertain and I will undoubtedly face huge challenges in the coming years and the rest of my life. But I know I can overcome any punches life might throw at me. I won't cower in fear. I'll get on my gloves and hit it right back because I want to thrive in my life.