Becoming a YouTuber?!

Chapter 20: My first panel at Vidcon

I woke up that morning still feeling heavy about the events that had passed the previous night. But as I had promised myself, I put it behind me. I had to, even though I knew this was something that could change the world I lived in.

Nate stirred awake besides me and reached over to pull me closer to him. I let myself cuddle up against him.

To be honest, I needed the comfort of being in his arms. At 11 AM later today, I would be on my very first panel ever. It was a terrifying thought to know I would sit besides people with years in the trade.

I wasn't one for big talks to crowds of people. When I did it in my university hall, I had nearly crapped my pants. Nate had promised to be there for moral support behind the scenes, at least for some of the time, as he needed to head off for an interview in another corner of the convention centre before I would be finished.

Emma and Megan had promised to be there as well, as they wanted to support me but also because they thought the topic of the panel I was part of seemed really interesting.

My panel was called Is there anything new to watch? and had the description "Feel like you're looking at the same ol' same all the time? Uncover some new gems on this panel with these ingenious and creative YouTubers as they roundtable about pushing original content out into YouTube and whether it's the medium or the message that needs refreshing."

It was an honour to be asked to be a part of it and the fact that I seemed to be considered an innovative creator. I did know some familiar faces would be beside me in the form of Jack Howard, who was moderating the whole thing, and Will Darbyshire, who was a fellow panellist. Other than that I was excited to meet Bertie Gilbert, Savannah Brown and Hannah Witton, who were all on the panel as well. I had looked them up when I agreed to the panel and their stuff was indeed unique and varying from the norm, just like Jack's and Will's.

"You don't need to be nervous," Nate muttered with hot breath against my neck and squeezed me closer to his chest. "You'll do great."

I took a deep breath and uttered the words that would ensure I felt obligated to heed his words.

"I promise."

And for most parts, I kept my promise. I had breakfast with Nate before we headed down and met up with Emma and Megan.

"So good to see you," I said and pulled the girls into a double hug as I recalled I needed to ask Megan about something.

"Hey Megs, is your friend Dory at Vidcon this year as well?"

"Yeah, she travels here from San Francisco every year. She saves up to be able to go here and meet up with her Internet friends and see her favourite creators," Megan confirmed.

Dory had made a real impression on me last year at Vidcon and on the flight over I had mulled over a video idea I wanted to do with her. I had been afraid to do it at first, because it was a bit of a controversial topic but if I wanted to go to my panel and talk about breaking boundaries, my actions should follow my words.

"I wanted to ask her if she wanted to film a video with me. It would be kind of personal but I really want to get educated on transgender people and she seemed fairly open about it, but obviously only if she wouldn't mind. I don't want to make her uncomfortable."

Megan threw her head back and laughed hysterically, which I wasn't sure how to interpret at first.

"She'd love to film a video with you. She creates so, so many educational posts on Tumblr that I don't think she'd mind talking about it on video. And I think she'd freak out a bit at the prospect of being in a YouTube video with you. I'll text her and ask," Megan said.