Thank You California.

Tell Away

*Colleen's pov*
today is the day before the last day of school. After the scare three weeks ago, Mia has been over everyday and Isaac has been texting me. But nothing from Josh. I think he has lost interest in me. But that's okay. We weren't getting back together anyways. I just wish we were friends. I just can't trust myself to just be friends with him. I have felt some pain since that night but not like what it was. I know it's coming, and fast but I will at least try. It's Gregs birthday in two days and I got him and two week fishing trip and he'll bring Tim. it's perfect to get them out of the house just incase. and if it doesn't happen within two weeks then I have no idea what I'm going to do. Today is Beckys last day day so I eat with her for the last time. "I didn't think I would tell you this Colleen, but I have a story to tell." becky says to me. "tell away." I say eating another bite of my grilled cheese. "do you know the reason why I have no problem with you and Joshua, and the baby?" she questions. "hmm I guess I never thought about it too much." I respond. "Colleen, what if I told you I knew a girl who gave birth illegally and.... survived." she says. The first thing my mind thinks of is that old book. "But the book, it was written in 1920." I say. She nods. "I'm not talking about the book Colleen." she says, "I.. had a baby when I was 26." she adds sigh her head down. My jaw drops. "But.. how?" I ask speechless. "I never could have survived if it weren't for my boyfriend." becky says lifting her chin up. Those words hit me like a truck. Joshua. "he helped me through the birth and the whole pregnancy. I broke up with him when I assumed at first because I knew I was gonna die. But Daren, refused to let me go through it alone." she pauses. "and Daren.... where is he now?" I ask. She starts to tear up quickly. "He passed away seven years ago. Heart attack." she stops. "Becky, I'm sorry." I say now crying. "he never gave up on me and Josh never gave up on you. Let him help you." she pleads. "but I can't.... I don't want to see him get hurt. Rules these days are way worse than they used to be" I tell her. She just nods. "do what your heart tells you to darling" she whispers. "I hope to see you next year." she admits. Becky is the main reason I haven't given up yet and I'm still breathing. It all makes sense now. She's kept me alive. She did on purpose to keep Josh and I together for as long as she could without telling us what she had to go through. Everything hurts but I'm not as big as I thought I would be. But my ribs hurt, my lungs hurt, my feet, my legs, my boobs, my stomach in general, arms, hands, everything. It's not pleasant but I got myself in this situation and I'm not giving up. I might not make it out alive but I can't die without giving my all.

*Joshua's pov*
it's now the last day of school. Becky left yesterday, it was very sad because she's helped Colleen and I through much more than just us dating. Even though Colleen and I are no more she still looks at me the same way as if I didn't date a girl or get her pregnant.

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~in Jesus' name, goodbye.~