Thank You California.

Wanna Talk About It?

*Colleen's pov*

Dear Joshua,
today is our three week anniversary. Three weeks ago today is when we kissed in the first for the first time. I will never forget that moment. You texted me this morning saying,
'Good morning beautiful. Happy anniversary. I will meet you in the woods in our spot later tonight. I'm sorry we can't spend all day together because we have school. But I love you and see you soon 😘'
I decided I'd write this down because I will eventually have to delete our messages before my dads find out. So I wrote it down so we'll never forget it, and I'll show this to you eventually. One day. When we can tell people that a girl and a boy are dating. I hope they'll understand. I hope they'll respect us being a couple. I'll always be there for you no matter what happens. I love you Joshua David Evans.

As I am writing this, it is one in the morning and I'm sobbing. I'm crying because I can't keep it a secret anymore. I need to tell people. I want to be able to show Josh off to other people. I want to be able to kiss him, hold his hand, cuddle him in public. I put the journal in my underwear drawer under everything. I lay back down on my bed and try to fall sleep. I don't want to break up with him, but I can't keep this inside anymore. I'll just have to talk to him tomorrow. I try to think as positive as I can and I eventually, slowly fall asleep.

~~~

I saw Joshua in class today and I kept feeling him stare at me and smile to himself. I just don't respond or even look at him. I don't look or talk to him all morning and before I know it, it's lunch time. I buy my lunch today and go in the library. Becky is at her desk eating a sandwich and drinking a water bottle. I pull up a chair next to her and join her. I take a bite out of my sandwich before Becky breaks the silence. "Colleen, sweetie are you okay?" she asks sweetly. I can't talk. I am holding back tears. Thankfully my bangs are in my face so she can't see that I'm about to blubber like a baby. She removes my hair from my face. That's it. I completely loose it and the flood gates open as tears keep slipping from my eyes. She brings me into a hug and rubs my back gently. I hug her back tightly crying into her shoulder and getting her shirt full of my tears. "Wanna talk about it?" she questions. I need to say no. I can't tell her our secret Josh will never forgive me. But my stupidity takes the lead and I nod my head slowly. "if I tell you. You have to swear you cannot tell one more being." I make her promise. She nods her head listening very carefully. "okay so you know the Josh guy." I say and pausing for a minute. She nods. "Well today is our three week anniversary!" I say happy but with a sad tone in my voice. Her face drops into a sad expression and she pulls me into another hug. "I don't know what to do anymore. I want to be with him but I know I can't." I say. I know she is listening to every word I say. "I trust you Becky." I say. I really do. "I know you do and I won't tell a soul but how about this, Go wash yourself up. And come back tomorrow so we can go into more details okay?" she says talking quietly. I nod and go to the washroom. I'm stuck and I hate it.

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Hope you have a great day today! (BTW the picture is Mrs. Becky. Just to make this more visual.😂)