Tomorrow Never Dies

Chapter 43 - "You alright?"

*Flora's POV*
I wasn't crying because I lost the baby. Although I was sad that the life growing inside of me was gone, I was more relieved that I wouldn't have to go through the horror of an abortion.

I'd been put on extra pain medication to ease the throbbing in my tummy, but since they were combined with the activated charcoal to purge the antidepressants and paracetamol from my system, it wasn't particularly effective. I was sat curled up, clutching my stomach, as Michael napped in the corner of the room. I'd asked him to get some rest as my best friend came to cheer me up, to distract me from the feeling of being violated by the doctors, and most of all to take my mind off the pain, both the physical agony and the mental turmoil. There was a knock at the door and Grace's newly dyed red hair appeared, followed by her face, then Ashton's head.

"Hiya," Grace said, coming straight in and sitting on the edge of my bed while Ashton drew up a plastic chair. She lazily reached for his hand and I smiled as they intertwined their fingers. "You alright?" I shook my head.

"Flora, you know you shouldn't have done what you did," Ashton's voice was a combination of stern but also sympathetic. "You could have died."

"Maybe that was the aim," I murmured, and he shook his head.

"Flo, if Grace died I would be distraught. I'd be beside myself, I wouldn't know what to do," he began. "And Michael would be the same if you died. I wouldn't know what to do with him, he wouldn't take it well at all."

"Sorry," I shrugged, but I didn't mean it.

"There's a saying," Grace said, and I interrupted her.

"Suicide does not end the chances of life getting worse, it eliminates the possibility of it ever getting better," I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I know."

"No," she said. "Suicide affects those around you more than it does yourself. Because you're gone, you have nothing to worry about. You can't worry about anything. But you've left the burden on everyone around you, and they get sad that you're gone, and then they go as well. And it just keeps going like that and there's no one left." She sighed. "Just- Flora, if you ever want to do that again, then remember how badly it would affect us."

"Okay," I said, looking down. "I'll try." She leaned in to hug me, and I moved the IV line out of the way so she could lie down next to me and spoon me - although I was the big spoon so she could still hold hands with Ashton. He kissed her hand softly and I cringed.

"What?" he laughed, his lips stretching into a smile.

"You two are being cheesy," I poked Grace, to which she responded by licking my hand. "You disgust me." I reached for my phone which lay beside my bed, and smiled when I saw the time. It had passed midnight, and it was Ashton's birthday. I showed Grace and we softly started singing happy birthday, not very tunefully but it was enough to make him smile.

"Thanks, you weirdos," he grinned. Grace got up and pulled a small gift-wrapped box out of her handbag, then presented it to him. We watched as he carefully opened the wrapping paper and pulled out a small jewellery box. He opened it and pulled out a silver bracelet, and he examined it closely before showing it to me. It was engraved with their names, followed by the date they met. I smiled as Grace clipped it onto his wrist, then he pulled her onto his lap. They shared a kiss and I shook my head, embarrassed at how cute they were being.

"I did buy you a present, but obviously it's not here with me," I smiled. "I'll give it to you as soon as I'm out."

"Thanks, Flo," he laughed, then went back to making out with Grace.

***
Grace and Ashton had left, and Michael was still asleep. I swung my legs out of the bed and crept out of the room, pulling my IV line next to me. Michael began to stir, so I ran before he completely woke up and followed me. I walked through the hospital, following the twists and turns of the corridor until I found where I was looking for. There was an incredible garden in the centre of the hospital, and it was the only place in the whole building where there was any feeling of life.

As I stepped out, the first thing I noticed was the coolness of the concrete slabs underneath my bare feet. I stepped lightly further into the garden and let a breeze flow through my hospital gown, the chill sending shivers down my spine. I moved again, this time focussing on the rattle of the IV stand hitting the cracks in the floor, metal against stone, occasionally scratching and the noise going right through me. I ventured right into a patch of trees, then finally found my favourite place. It was a low hut, with a window in the roof. I'd found it when I first tried to kill myself in my teens and had spent weeks trapped in the completely sterile, lifeless environment of the hospital. I lay down on a stone bench and looked up at the night sky through the window, realising it must have been about 4 in the morning, and fell asleep.

***
"Flora? Oh, Flora," Michael said as I woke up. "We've all been looking all over for you, we couldn't find you anywhere."

"I'm sorry," I whispered as I sat up. "It's just nicer out here."

"It is lovely, isn't it?" I nodded, leaning against him, my ear against his chest. I listened to his heartbeat, slightly elevated from running around the hospital looking for me, and felt the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed in and out. He kissed the top of my head and I sighed contentedly.

"I could stay here forever," I told him, truly meaning it.

"Me too, unfortunately you need a new bag of fluids," he said, pointing to my IV.

"Can't I just go? I'm not going to do it again and my tummy doesn't hurt anymore."

"I'll have a word with the doctor, but you need to come inside," he said. "Deal?" I nodded, took his hand and led him back to my room, where the doctor replaced my IV bag and talked to me about discharging myself. The terms of my discharge involved locking my meds away and taking anything sharp off me, and I was not allowed to be left alone. As well as that, I was to go on the pill to prevent another pregnancy since it would most likely have a negative impact on my mental health.

I agreed with the doctors and signed the release forms, taking with me a new bottle of antidepressants and something to regulate my hormones which Michael would look after. He took my hand as we walked out of the hospital, giving it a gentle squeeze of encouragement, and we drove home.

*****
I cant remember if i told everyone but BASTILLE TIX
I have a dance show in two weeks so my schedule is basically rehearsals rehearsals rehearsals

Song of the chapter: angels by robbie williams