"This not fair!", Matteó yelled, crying hard.
"I know, I'm so sorry," I said, hugging him as I watched them lower Marciello's casket into the ground.
All the kids were crying and I just felt so lost. I didn't know what to do to make them feel better.
The service was over and the kids and I left. The paparazzi was all over us which was annoying as hell.
"Leave me alone!", Dakota yelled at one of them, stomping on their foot.
"C'mon baby," I said, picking her up.
We got in the car and a driver drove us back home.
"I want daddy," Michelangelo cried.
"Dad is in a better place," Marciano told him, tears running down his face.
Never in my life would I have thought this would have been happening to me-to us. I always thought Marciello and I would make it and I regret spending all that time fighting instead of being there for each other.
My phone started ringing and I answered it.
"Hello," I answered.
"Yes is this Ms. Marie?", They asked.
"Yes, this is she," I said.
"We have the results back from the sample we took out of your breast," they said.
"Y-yes what's the results?", I asked scared.
"It's cancerous," she said, sorrowfully.
"Oh," I said, feeling my chest tighten.
"I'm sorry ," She said, sorrowfully. I just hung up the phone.
"Are you going to be okay mommy?," Marciano asked.
"Yes, I'm going to be alright,'' I said.
"I miss daddy," Marciano said, crying.
"I do too, baby," I said, hugging him close as tears ran down my face.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Weeks pasted by, it felt like we were just going through the motions. I drove the kids to school and Dakota to daycare. I went to school, then I picked the kids up. We ate, then we went to sleep barely speaking a word to each other.
Right now, we were sitting at the table eating quietly.
"I need to talk to you guys about something," I told them.
"What is it?", Marciano asked, fear in his eyes.
"Umm... Mommy's health isn't the best right now. I found out a couple weeks ago I have breast cancer," I said to them.
"No mommy, you can't leave us too," the twins cried.
"Why didn't you tell us sooner?", Marciano asked.
"Your father just passed and I didn't want to upset you," I told them quietly.
"Don't go mommy," Dakota said, pouting.
"Mommy's going to still be here. It's stage one and it's noninvasive. They just have to perform a lumpectomy," I told them.
"That sound scary," Dakota said.
"It's not. I'm lucky, most people have it worse. It's a simple procedure and mommy will be fine afterwards," I said.
"Promise," Matteó asked, holding out his pinky.
"I promise," I said, twisting my pinky around his.
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Not all promises can be kept 😈
Love,
-Bookie-
