Today I had to go back to the therapist. She wanted to see our progress and talk to us about a few things.
"So how are you guys feeling?", She asked.
"I feel okay," I said.
"I feel fine," Marciello spoke.
"Okay so I told you guys to take some time apart, I'm presuming you did so. So I want you guys to tell me how you feel about your relationship now," she said.
"Now that I've been thinking about it I feel like she's never happy or satisfied with anything. I try to do things that she wants and give her what she wants, but she's never happy. That's why I feel like our relationship is how it is,'' Marciello said.
"Okay. How do you feel about what he said,'' the therapist, Dr.Yen asked me.
''I feel like everything he said is bullshit. Through our entire relationship I only asked him for one thing and that was to quit his occupation. He didn't give me anything I wanted-well needed," I said.
"Why did you want him to quit his occupation?", Dr. Yen asked.
"His occupation complicated our life. Lots of bad things happened because of it and it didn't allow us to be stable,'' I said.
"How do you feel about what she said Marciello?", Dr. Yen asked.
"I agree," he said.
"I'm glad you guys see eye to eye on something," she said.
"Tell me about your childhood Belle," Dr. Yen said.
"My mother-well my grandmother died when I was two. She was the one that I knew as a mother at the time. After that my father got really abusive he would beat me and my sis-mother. At the time I thought my sister was my sister, but it actually turns out my dad raped her and they conceived me. Anyways my sister left one day, leaving me alone with my dad. My dad would constantly beat me with tree branches, cable wires, or whatever he could get his hands on. When he was really mad at me he would lock me inside the coat closet because he knew I had claustrophobia and it was really small. When I wasn't at home and when I was at school kids were very mean to me. They made fun of me because of my skin color, the boys would beat me up, sometimes they would push me down the stairs or if we were at PE they would throw the basketballs or hit the baseballs at me. There were many times when I was depressed and I didn't want to be here anymore. But then senior year same and I got my acceptance letter into Harvard and I was happy, it was my escape. My dad signed me over to Marciello because Marciello agreed to pay off all his debt. So my dreams of Harvard were gone because Marciello didn't want me going to school," I said, finishing.
"Why didn't you want her going to school?", Dr. Yen asked him.
"I felt like she should stay home and watch the kids," Marciello said.
"Do you still feel that way?", Dr. Yen asked him.
"I do. I have enough money so I don't understand why she wants to work. I think it's a waste of time, I think she could be spending that time with our children,'' Marciello said.
"I do that because I don't want to have to depend on you,'' I said to him.
"Why don't you want to depend on your husband?", The therapist asked.
"When I was depending on him he belittled me and made me feel...small I guess. I felt trapped because I didn't have any money to go anywhere so I had to stay with him," I said.
"Has there been any abuse in this relationship?", Dr. Yen asked.
"Yeah, I used to hit her,'' Marciello said, uncomfortably.
"Your father used to beat your mom too?", Dr. Yen asked.
Marciello nodded.
"The problem here is that Marciello is controlling and you, Belle, you don't want to be controlled anymore. I understand your whole life people have controlled you and your fed up with it and you have to understand that Marciello," Dr. Yen said.
"I never knew the whole situation with her and her father. She didn't tell me things, I just assumed she hated him for making her marry me,'' Marciello said.
"Well I'm glad you're communicating and getting this stuff out. We need to learn about each other's past to fully understand each other. It also helps us know what to do and what not to do. Has Marciello ever told you about his past?", Dr. Yen asked me.
"No I just found out he was married before. I had no clue,'' I said.
"You guy's communication is definitely off. Right now I want you guys to express to each other what you need in this relationship,'' Dr. Yen said.
"What I need the most from you is support. I don't like how you call the things I do stupid, it really makes me angry because it means something to me. Going to college and getting a degree was always something that I wanted to do. When you belittle it, it makes me wonder why I should be with someone so unsupportive of me and it makes me want to distance myself from you,'' I told him.
"I'm sorry about that Belle. I know sometimes-well most of the time I'm a complete jackass. I just get worried that as you start working and socializing you'll meet more interesting people and you'll forget about me. I hate when you throw in my face that you can leave whenever you want and that you don't need me. I know that you don't need me, you deserve so much better than me, but I need you Belle," Marciello said, tears pouring down his face.
"You're wrong. I need you too baby. I love you so much, Marciello, and I couldn't imagine life without you," I said as I hugged him tight, feeling tears run down my face.
"I love you too baby and I'm so sorry for everything. I was just so scared of losing you and I wanted to make you stay whether it was out of fear or love. I just needed you so much, without you my life had no meaning, I was just living. But when I first saw you I felt a drop of happiness and I felt like I had something worth living for. I know I went about our relationship the wrong way and I fucked up so many times. I don't want anymore of that. I want us to be happy Belle," Marciello said.
"I do too," I said, wiping away his tears and kissing him.
"That's why I think we should get a divorce," he said.
Say what now?!
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~fin~
Tune in to the next book coming December 25, 2016.
Jkjkjk! I'm just fucking with you. Next update will probably be soon!
