a heart's end

Twelve

Anaelle

     The first place we ended up was on the shopping strip of Soho. In and out of the name brand stores we went, glancing at shoes and dresses that could cost a house rent in Maine. And I wanted everything. Because in reality, I could easily afford any of this using my parents money. Kalena, Abbaline, and Geraldine were doing this for fun. I was scoping out what I would eventually come back and buy. If I could even figure out how to get back here, since these subways are so confusing. The F train leads downtown, the C train leads to Soho, which is what we took, but it has to be the right C train. And a metrocard? You have to actually buy transportation? Kalena told me to just purchase one a month at a time, so I did. New York was so confusing and I felt small and confused compared to the endless subway tunnels and buildings.

     It was around one in the afternoon after Soho. After a few more subways and we were at a small little park next to where the Twin Towers once stood. It was really nice, the little statues had been freshly clean and the paved sidewalk that led through it reminded me of the yellow brick road. It was breezy outside, probably around 78 degrees. I've never actually had a picnic in a park, but the thought sounds nice. When I rarely thought about nice things, I would think about stuff like this.

I managed to keep a steady conversation going, however my growing anxiety about Donte's return left me asking once or twice for Kalena to repeat certain things.

"It's okay, Analle. I said, and I hope you don't mind me asking, why did Donte leave in the first place?" We were all sitting at a little metal picnic table placed strategically along the paved sidewalk.

I didn't know how to respond even though I knew why he left.

"His mom used to have cancer a couple years ago. It was gone for a while, until he got a call from his father saying that she thought it had returned. He just went back to check on her and to make sure it was nothing serious." Kalena's eyes got wide and a look of worry covered Geraldine's face as I spoke.

    "What?" I snapped.

    "Nothing, I just never expected something like that to happen." Abbaline chirped. Was she serious?

    "Cancer? It happens to a lot of people." I sat on my hands, the metal table on which I sat burned the top of my hands slightly, but I didn't want to leave then open in case I talked with them. Talking with my hands can come off as aggressive sometimes, I've been told.

    "My mom had cancer. For a long time." Kalena shook her head. "It was horrible, it was some take of pancreatic cancer. I don't know the specifics, I was to young. But I know I visited her in the hospital for a long time until she finally got to come home."

The mood seemed to shift from neutral to melancholic, the cause was from this conversation.

"So when is he coming back?" Geraldine asked.

"Who, Donte?"

She laughed, "Of course Donte. Who else?"

"He should be coming back tomorrow early morning. He missed his classes Friday and I don't think he wants to miss anymore. He's always been the top of the class, throughout high school he limited himself to one absence per school year." I smiled at the thought of sick days where he went to school with a runny nose and a headache.

"Where you like that?" Kalena asked me.

"Oh, no. I mean, my senior year of high school I was on time and never missed a class. Just because if I got written up one more time I would've been expelled. My thing were fights. The girls at my school all loved Donte, therefore hated me. That's the sick mindset of snobby private school girls. My freshman year was really when it started, the fighting, and by senior year I had nothing to worry about because nobody would mess with me. Not to mention I missed school all the time because I would stay up, sleep late, and repeat the process."