a heart's end

Twenty Nine

Monty

    I love this women so much. I love her angry soul, her endless gaze, and her need to find answers to the life she lives. She is my purpose when it comes to love, she's the reason I long for a soulmate. She is my soulmate.

    I tell Anaelle all this as she sits on my bed, crying with a smile on her beautiful face. It has come to a point where I couldn't keep my love for her a secret. After seeing her interact with my family, it's like I was seeing a new piece of her. It was entertaining seeing her sit on the couch, intrigued by the football on tv. Or the way she bowed her head and closed her eyes when we said a prayer over the food, even though I know she doesn't believe in God. The way she glanced at me from time to time throughout the day, it was like she was looking at me through new eyes.

    I don't know what's going to happen when we get back to New York, but all I'm focused on  is what's happening now. And that is Anaelle jumping into my arms and gripping me tight.

    "Monty," she sobbed. I watched her tears cascade down her perfect face, even with those tears escaping her pink lids she still amazed me. I don't know why she is crying, and I don't know whether it is good or bad. I just poured my heart and soul out to this woman. I made it vocal about my feelings for her, about my need for her.

"What's wrong, Anaelle?" My hands gripped her face and I kissed her, a long and slow kiss.

I heard the garage door close, signaling my parents had officially went to bed. I looked at the clock, almost midnight. Anaelle sat down on the bed and I flipped my light off, then turned my lamp on. It made it significantly darker in the room, yet the orange light was illuminating perfectly on Anaelle's features.

She wiped her eyes and grabbed my hand.

"Sit down." She whispered.

"Anaelle, please don't do this. I love you, that's it. You don't have to love me back, you don't even have to care. I just told you my feelings, and how I've felt about you this whole time and all you're doing is staying silent." I spoke soft yet stern and gently pushed her hair behind her ears. "Talk to me, please." I kissed her head.

"I'm trying to get my words together. It's just... it's..."

"It's what, Anaelle?" She gave me a pained look, but I knew I was ready for her answer. I didn't need a confirmation, I knew her soul didn't love me back. My soul just couldn't keep quiet anymore.

"I want to love you, Monty. But I can't. I can't love anyone. Not right now. Not ever." She wasn't sobbing anymore, but her grip on my hand never ceased. She wasn't hurt or angry, she was talking to me, giving me a solid answer like I hoped she would. She wasn't coming from a place of pity or anger. She was coming from a place of self-doubt. She doubted my love. Not in a hurtful way. Nobody has shown this woman true love and because of that, I myself started to cry.

"No, no Monty." She quickly wiped my tears. "Don't cry, please don't cry." She wrapped me up in her arms.

"No, Anaelle, I'm not crying because of you." I broke away from her hug and looked her in her eyes and gave her a smile.

"You don't have to love me right now, but I swear to God you will learn to love me. I swear it, I won't stop until I prove to you how beautiful you are to me." I know I probably sounded like a creep, but I could care less.

Anaelle grinned and looked down.

"You sound like a stalker." She looked up at me with those brown eyes melting into mine.

"If you can help me love myself, I will love you for the rest of my life. I swear that, Montgomery."

My heart was going to explode. It was going to burst in my chest, that's how much I love her. Dying for her would be no match for my love. I craved every bit of her and I won't stop until she sees that.

"Deal."

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thank you all for the support
chapter thirty is going to be intense, be warned
i love you all
wl