a heart's end

Fourteen

Monty

     I sat in the passenger seat of her old Honda Accord. We had been driving for a good 20 minutes, towards the opposite direction of the school, which was an additional 20 minutes away. How am I going to get back to the school tonight? I checked the clock on her dashboard. 9:45 PM. The car ride had been silent this whole time, making me wonder if this girl is as awkward as I am.

    "So, where do you live?" She asked me, breaking the tension.

"University campus." My eyes averted to the radio, her phone was plugged into the aux cord and tumbling through her speakers was a melody that sounded both hypnotic and sad. She nodded her tiny head, the front of her hair flopping when she did it.

"That's cool. So you're a college student. Full time?" She turned her head towards me and when she did she didn't notice the light change from green to red. I felt my ribcage contract under her seatbelt as she slammed on the brakes, realizing her mistake. She giggled.

"Ugh, sorry. I just get carried away sometimes. My roommates think I'm a terrible driver." I halfheartedly laughed as we continued down the street.

The three things I didn't see when I stepped foot in Francis' apartment were as followed: booze, games, people. I raised my eyebrow as I slipped off my light jacket. Her apartment was oddly bare, nothing on the walls. A spare couch. A room. And it was ungodly tiny, smaller than Daisy's and a lot less classy. And there was trash everywhere, like she just woke up from a wild party and her apartment was like this. I sat on the couch as she shuffled through the kitchen.

"I'm sorry about the mess. My roommates can be slobs sometimes." She called from the kitchen.

"It's okay." And it really was. I never cared about where people came from or how there house looked. And in this case, looked and smelled. A house doesn't make a person, a person makes a house. I read that in one of my moms gardening magazines.

"Chardonnay or moscato?" There was more clanking in the kitchen.

"Um. What is that?" I asked as I turned the corner into the kitchen. She smiled and laughed as she poured 2 wine glasses filled with red liquid.

"Well it's not a margarita, but it will do." I joked. So far this is not what she said. No people and no games were anywhere in sight.

"Oh, come on. You know I was just playing." She gave me that smile once more yet I frowned.

"I really didn't know you were playing. Why did you tell me we were doing something and then not doing it?" I scratched the back of my head as I took the wine glass. However, something in me told me not to drink it. I don't know if it was the absence of people or her dirty apartment but something felt off.

"I don't really know. I got nervous, I guess. My friends didn't show up because they didn't follow through with the plan, either. They were supposed to come over but never did because they wanted to give us 'alone time'." She sat on the couch and waved me over to sit next to her.

"Alone time?" My voice embarrassingly cracked at the end. I didn't want this, I wanted to have fun with her. Not go to bed with her.

"Yeah." She quietly stated. She was looking down at her hands and I felt bad for a second. I took the wine glass and she looked up at me and grabbed hers.

"Well, I don't know if we'll get that kind of alone time, but I'm sure down to some board games if you have them."

    After about an hour we had just got through with UNO Attack and the card game spoons. Games were never really my thing but somehow with Francis they seemed cool. I polished off my second glass of wine before suggesting we do something else. As we were playing I eased up and took a sip. One sip led to another as the bottle was half empty.