a heart's end

Thirty One

While writing this chapter I honestly listened to "I Need My Girl" by The National on repeat. You should, too.
wl

Monty

"Mathis! What have you done!" My mother screamed as she ran outside. I felt the blood in my eyes as it poured from my head. My limp body was sprawled in the front yard. I knew exactly what Mathis did. It's pretty obvious. He beat me up with a switch. Well, I kinda started it by asking him to fight. I should've known he would win. He is ten, ya know.

"Your brother is little," my mom said as she picked me up. She inspected my head and shook hers. She took me in the house and asked Mathis to grab her keys.

"Jimmy!"

"Yes, hun?"

"We have to take Monty to the hospital. Mathis hit him and it looks like he needs stitches." I glanced at Mathis and he was crying. I didn't understand why he was crying, he's the one who did this to me.

"No! Don't take him to the hospital! I'm sorry, Mommy! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hit him that hard! I just wanted him to leave me alone!"

"We will deal with you later, Mathis. I have to strap up Marco and put him in his car seat. Sit down and keep your brothers head level."

Me and Mathis sat on the couch, he gave me a towel to put over my head. He looked scared, very very scared. It kind of scared me.

"Am I going to die?" I asked. That made Mathis smile.

"No, dummy. You're just getting stitches."

My dad came downstairs and picked me up. "Lets go get you fixed up, buddy." He held Mathis' hand as well. It was going to be alright.

I remember hating the hospital. I never wanted to go back.

I've never been in the backseat of Donte's Rolls Royce before. I hoped I got blood everywhere. I hated him, I hated him with all of my heart. I wanted to kill him and take Anaelle with me to Mexico. Or Canada.

   

    Anaelle

    "He has a fractured nose, and a mild concussion. Past that, some bruising and minor eye swelling. We'll have to put that nose in a cast for a week or two, but it will clear up in time." The doctor didn't ask what happened and I was glad for it. Donte was sitting beside me all day, not leaving me alone with Monty, even though he is unconscious.

His gaze was like a hawk boring into my back. Well, that gaze was a double headed spear because if I could say the words that pour out of my mouth and slap him in the face God knows I would.

"Anaelle." He spoke gently but I knew his voice was laced with something dreadful. The sad part about this whole scenario is that I did this to him. I did it to both of them.

I ignored him and he sighed. His inconvenience was placed greatly upon him, and I was furious at the fact that he mercilessly beat the man that I love.

Wait.

"I never want to see you around him again." He walked up to me and put his hand around the back of my neck. Tears filled his black eyes and I looked into them, the coals of his pupils shining back towards me. I was torn. I was utterly and hopelessly torn.

"Donte, I-"

"No, you listen to me." He sat beside me and released my neck. He grabbed my hands and pulled me in for a hug. I was glad Monty was unconscious, even though that's a sick thing to say.

"I was going to give you an update on my mom."

I hugged him back when he started shaking.

"The doctor hasn't told her, but he told me. He said that when the cancer came back, it came back twice as strong."

"Oh, Donte." I closed my eyes.

"He gave her at least three months. He said that the chemotherapy can only help so much, and I don't was my mother to be pumped with radiation so much that she isn't herself. I'm lost, Anaelle. And if she dies, and if you leave, I'll be alone. I'll be by myself in this world and I can't bear that on my shoulders." He was pleading, begging. My gaze was stone.

"I'm just scared." He whispered. I rubbed his scruffy face. "Please don't ever leave me."

"I won't, Donte. I won't." He laid his head in my lap and quickly fell asleep, which I was grateful for. I leaned back against the wall and stared at the ceiling. I wanted to scream as loud as I possibly could. Nothing but the sound of Monty's heartbeat on the screen and Donte's breath filled my ears. I listened to it for hours. How did I get myself in this situation?

Around midnight I got up without waking Donte. I went to the cafeteria, which was now closed. I walked the through wings of the hallway, I looked at the cancer patients through the open windows. I wonder what it would feel like to have cancer. I wonder what it would feel like to die.

    When I thought of Monty I thought of innocence. I thought of a better, happier world. Where nothing would go wrong, and there was always the other side of the grass, or however the saying goes. I thought of love.

    When I think of Donte I think of loyalty. I think of trust, and sometimes pain. It's a pain I would doubtfully endure. I think of sacrifice and shortcomings.

    I was so lost, I just needed time to think. So I walked right out the hospital, out into the bustling Saturday night street below. I walked all the way back to my dorm in solemn silence. I walked for an hour and a half until I half-heartedly knocked on my own dorm door until I heard someone get up.

   I looked into Kalena's judgement free eyes and she looked into my sad ones; she wrapped me in a hug. Abbaline and Geraldine quickly wrapped me up as well. I didn't know I was crying until I felt tears slip down my cheeks.

    "It's okay." Kalena said. "It'll work itself out." I don't know how she knew what was going on, or if she knew anything, but I'm glad I didn't have to explain. I just wanted my own bed. Away from Donte. Away from Monty.

    I needed my own time to think.