a heart's end

Twenty Seven

Monty

     Benny Hagmire and Edison Smith. My two best friends since kindergarten. The ones who have sat by my side throughout my whole uneventful life, only wanting the best for me.

    My literal brothers from other mothers.

   I'm sorry, but that was so lame.

    Anyway, the day I found out I had been accepted into NYU, I was so excited. I couldn't wait to tell them over the pizza we were getting later in the day. I remember everything so clear, I remember them being in complete shock. They probably thought I was kidding. I remember exactly what they said while stuffing their face with BBQ pork covered pizza.

    "Is this really what you want? To be away from everyone you've ever known? Thousands of miles away, in a city with a completely different accent and customs you've never even heard of?" Benny put his pizza slice down and Edison looked at me, waiting for my response. I'll admit, a did feel a tear prick at the back of my eye. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

    "It's everything I've ever wanted."

    Edison then grinned at Benny, then at me. "Then we will support you every step of the way!" We then casually continued eating our food, but I knew their hearts had to have been as heavy as mine. What Benny said was true, but nothing could stop me from getting to New York. And I am so glad I did, I never wouldn't met Auden and the guys, I never would have make the cut in Daisy's off broadway play, and most important, the center of New York, my center of New York: I never would've met Anaelle.

     "We're going bowling?" Anaelle whispered to me as we pulled up at the bowling lanes. Benny overheard her and laughed a loud, fake laugh.

   "No, Darling. Not just bowling. We're going midnight bowling!" Benny kept calling Anaelle all these weird names. I knew Anaelle didn't like it, but that is just how Benny is. He doesn't mean anything by it. He's just a little... outspoken.

    Midnight bowling is what me, Benny, and Edison used to do every Saturday night. We barely did anything else the whole weekend, but one thing we could always count on is meeting here at 12:01.

    Have I mentioned I'm lame?

    I could care less, however. Bowling is fun to me. Anaelle on the other hand looks like it inconveniences her. Like she has better things to do, somewhere else. It agitated me, but this is just how Anaelle reacts to things, I guess.

    "Are you okay?" I spoke gently to her and she shrugged. Still facing the window, she spoke just as soft. "I've never been bowling before."

    The two girls in the back looked at Anaelle. "You've never been bowling before? You must've had a great childhood." Sarcasm was thick through the girls voice and I really wish she would shut up. I'm pretty bad at guessing these things, but I think they both like me. Which honestly makes bile want to come out of my throat at the thought of being with any other girl except Anaelle.

    However, I have met them before, a while ago. Like years ago. I think they're Edison's cousins or something but I cannot remember their names. They were only like 13 at the time.

Anaelle looked back at the two girls and I prayed she wouldn't make a scene. I was trying to prove to my friends that I was capable of having a normal, sane girlfriend. What I really have is the exact opposite.

"I want you two to know that I will literally beat the fake tan off of your bodies and wholefully enjoy it if you two do not stop talking to me." Anaelle spoke so calm, so sure of herself. While Benny and Edison were laughing at her comment I couldn't help but envy Anaelle. She just never takes crap from anyone. It's just one of her many headstrong, yet attractive features.

"Okay," Edison said as we all got out of the car. "Lets go have ourselves a fun night."

I never knew Anaelle was so good at bowling. She said she knew nothing about it, but I'm starting to believe otherwise.

"Are you sure you've never done this before?" I snickered and wrapped her in for a hug.

"Oh yeah," she spoke with sarcasm. "I definitely had time to bowl with my abusive parents and my party friends who were only interested in me when I did the drugs they did." She unwrapped from my hug with a smile still on her face; she genuinely thought it was funny. I, on the the other hand, had a deep frown. My heart sank at her words and even though her voice was light, her words were heavy.

"Hey." She kissed my lips. "I was kidding."

"Yeah." I fake smiled. "I know."

Anaelle looked so hot when she bowled. I know it's a weird sentence, but when she glides in those shoes, her tank top slipping on her shoulder, a light sheen of sweat which makes her sparkle, her wavy hair that smells so intoxicating, and her butt in those shorts, it was just to much for me to handle. Lust. I lusted after her. I want every part of her. Her heart, her mind, her body.

    "Dang, girl. You sure you've never done this?" Edison clamped his hand on Anaelle's shoulder and she laughed.

    "I swear."

    Another hour went by and it was already 3 in the morning. Time really flies when you're having fun.

    The ride back to my house was peaceful. Anaelle was sleeping in my lap while Benny and Edison talked in the front. All three girls were fast asleep, my girl being the cutest.

    "Well, Monty. You finally got yourself a girlfriend. How does that feel?" Benny spoke low and with a grin.

    "Amazing." I leaned my head back and stroked Anaelle's black hair.

    "You don't happen to still be a virgin?" Edison snickered and Benny punched him in the shoulder, joining in with the giggling. They sounded like school girls. Annoying.

     "What does it matter to you? You'd never know. I could have sex everyday and you would never even know." I smirked and raised my eyebrows, waiting for a response.

    "Yep." Benny mumbled. "Definitely still a virgin."

    Edison's face was turning red because he was laughing so hard. I mean, so what if I've never had sex? I mean I've always thought sex should be between two people who love each other. And I've never felt love on that lustful level before. The kind of love where you never leave the other person's side. The kind of love where, when the whole world is berating you and beating you to the ground, there is that one sliver of light that leads you away from all the negativity that once surrounded you. I want to have sex with someone who I can trust with my entire life, my entire being as person, my existence into this world being controlled by a single person. And I just haven't found that kind of love yet.

    I looked at Anaelle sleeping peacefully in my lap. She then gently grabbed my hand and kissed it lightly.

     Dammit. Maybe I have.