Falling like a snow storm....

Chapter 31- wishing away.

That perfect relationship. You see them on so many films. But as I was sat there watching 'lol' all I could think about was perfect relationships. And Theo. Why? He doesn't even like me, but if I could find someone just like him who actually liked me. It would be great. His looks, his personality. His everything.

I just... I.. My feelings are to strong for him. I wish... Gosh I just wish I could get over him. Or even better him like me! But I can't change his mind. No one can unfortunately. What's said and done is done.. No I don't know.

Then I have my mates Tia and Aimee on the phone to their boyfriends. I sit there and think. It doesn't do me any good. Then Aimee says 'move on, you need to move on from Theo'. I know that. I wish. But on the other hand I don't cause I love him. I care about him, if he doesn't care about me.

These feelings are stupid! I am sick of them. How can you possibly like someone so much than it hurts, and more than that how can you like someone that doesn't even like you the slightest... It hurts more than a ton off bricks crashing down on me.

At times i just sit there and think 'imagine me and Theo walking down the road holding hands.'. Perfection. People often say to me- 'you don't know what's going to happen in the future.', but when it comes to him. I do. I have no chance. Never. I never will, i wish i did. But a decision has been made. i am not good enough for him.

When i awoke this morning i messaged Reece saying 'hi x' and lets just say this he was in a right mood. I get a message back saying 'i am busy'. Then somewhere along the line he thought i liked him. WHAATTTT? no.... I even messaged him saying 'sorry i don't like you, i like someone else'..