Falling like a snow storm....

chapter 46- the day i fell in love...

A sudden thought came to me. The day i looked into Theo's eyes, was a first for me. I had never fell in love before. It came as a shock. It was confusion, and it took me a while to figure out what was going on. I spent weeks in confusion. Weeks not saying anything to anyone. In fact it was months before i told anyone. I didn't really know what was happening. My head was all over the place.

          I would sit in school in silence. It seemed more like a very emotional silence. I remember being in form with my head on the desk; I felt so emotional. Georgie asked me if i was ok. I nodded my head to say yes, then turned away. That's the moment i burst into tears.

When i look back on it all i think how could i spend so long deciding whether i actually do like him or was my brain just messed up. Months later, well about 6 months after i looked at him and begun to like him. December 2012, i told Lois and Georgie i liked him. They found it cute, i found it annoying. When i told Tia, she was like 'he has big nose'. That made me laugh. That wasn't the point, i didn't look at that, i loved his personality. I don't know why it took me so long to tell them, i knew i could trust them.

To think in February 2013 i told him (well Lois did), Its now January 2014, nearly a full year since he was told. Over a year since i first told people. Nearly a year since me and him had big argument because we happened to go to the roebuck at the time he was there. Apparently i was a stalker. It broke my heart.

         For months at cadets, Theo could barely say my name. I could barely look at him. I still loved him, i loved him more than i loved myself.

It now comes back to today, comparing it to this time last year. I thought my love for him would have deceased, but no instead my love for him is stronger. I am so lucky to have friends like the ones i have, they stick by me through both good and bad times.

      The one thing i promise to do is do what they did for me, stick by there side forever. Stick up for them. Be there through good and bad times.

We have all been through so much. Then i found M.A.D and it turned my life around again. Becoming obsessed with them and Michael. Making me even more confused liking two people at the same time.  Caring about them more than i care about myself.

       I know for a fact i have no chance with either of them. I just have to get on with life as it comes. There are going to be so many surprises around each and every corner, for us all. I just hope each down in life will only make me stronger.

Much stronger. I have so much faith in this coming year. I need it to take a positive turn. With all my friends that shouldn't be too hard.