warm | poetry

7 // these tears will get me through

"Tears on the ground, tears on my pillow..
You won't bring me down, I'll get over you..
Tears on the ground, rain in my window..
The pain washes out, and I'll get over you..
These tears will get me through and I'll get over you.."

I was crushing on an idiot.

He chased after girls who he had no chance with, thinking they would feel the same way he did for them.

There was nothing wrong with high expectations, but they were unrealistic.

He never looked at things from the bigger picture, so his fantasies of dating these girls were nothing but mist on a window ready to be wiped away by anybody seeing things from a narcissistic perspective.

I was one such person, but I never said anything about it to him.

It hurt me to see him like this, chasing after an illusion he'd never be able to capture.

One girl gone, one girl came along.

He kept on doing this to himself and I screamed in agony every time he did it.

Liking a boy who pulled shit like this all the time was aggravating.

I just wish I had some sort of map to navigate through that complicated mind of his.

Being the impulsive idiot that I was, I told him that I liked him.

Obviously, I did it the way a writer would, stringing a few analogies and metaphors here and there, confusing him as payback for doing this to my heart.

He was on an overseas trip with a few of my best friends, so when I typed it out to him, my friends yelled, "MORON!" as they explained what I was trying to tell him.

It was strangely endearing seeing his shock, but.. I know he'll never feel the same.

I'm too quiet for him, yet too wordy.

He hated reading, while I loved it.

He hated all things wordy, such as the English language itself; meanwhile, I basked in the beauty of fiction, poetry, and nearly every form of text known to man.

He was good at physics, I was anything but.

He was good at math, and I was not.

But..

He loved Marvel.

He had an adorable laugh.

His smile sent my heart fluttering when I looked at him sometimes.

He called me beautiful at times because he knew that's what I wanted to hear, but he never realized that I wanted it to be from him.

He was able to fluster me with just the simplest of words, but..

His eyes and heart always wandered elsewhere, slowly sticking a knife into my already fragile heart, twisting and turning it.

Liking someone who would never feel the same nor notice was the most painful of all, so I have one thing to tell you, and ask one thing of you to promise me.

I advise you not to fall for someone who won't like you the way you do.

I don't want you to hurt yourself, dear reader.

It would pain me to see you hurt, for heartache is the worst thing for someone to experience, something I don't even wish upon the worst of people.

Nobody deserves to feel heartache, no matter how cruel.

Guard your hearts, for I have faith that you will.

(WE NEED A CLEAN BANDIT APPRECIATION SQUAD BECAUSE HORYSHITERU THEY JUST RELEASED THE MV OF TEARS AND I AM IN LOVE AS WELL AS DECEASED WFEVHOULBHISDVILHSFDB)