warm | poetry

12 // you're acid rain in an endless drought, but you make it all okay..

ONE SHOT POEM FOR IN TOO DEEP

"Cause you don't have piece of me, you've got all of me and you're never gonna change..
I let you in, you let me down cause you're never gonna stay.."

I was so sure that I'd gotten over you.

Hah! Boy, was I wrong.

I'm being pathetic, aren't I?

Fuck's sake, Charlie. I really thought I got over you.

Seeing you walk into Diaz's with.. her.. hurt more than it should've.

I have to ask..

Why did you do it?

Because I wasn't straight enough for you?

Because I wasn't pretty enough for you?

Because I didn't want to have sex with you until after marriage?

You cheated on me for someone else.

Nobody deserves to feel the pain you left me with.

I don't understand how she could take you.

Was she as desperate as you?

Desperate enough to take a boy who already loved another girl?

Did you even love me, Charlie?

I have Emma now, but seeing you here was a stab to the heart.

Sharp, a bloody mess as the knife that was your words and actions writhed and twisted in my already too soft for my own good heart.

The fact that you actually tried to start a conversation with me, dismissing how you hurt me in the first place..

Why did you come here?

To cheat on her too?

What makes you think that she can trust you after you were willing to cheat on me just for the sex?

What makes you think that she'll be foolish enough to stay with a damnation such as yourself?

I can't hate you, Charlie.

I love you too much to do that.

There's still the boy I love somewhere deep down in that ice cold heart of yours.

I still remember the way you smiled against my lips when we kissed.

I still remember the way you held me in your arms to hold me steady on my worst days in school.

I still remember how soothing the sound of your voice was over the phone whenever you told me what I needed and wanted to hear.

You were my first love, so there's no way I can get over you that quickly.

Why can't I find happiness anywhere?

Did I do something to deserve this?

How did you even find me here?

It doesn't matter at this point, but I have to ask..

Why?