warm | poetry

13 // no matter where you go, you know you're not alone..

"You and me can make it anywhere, but for now, we can stay here for a while..
Cuz you know, I just wanna see you smile..
No matter where you go, you know you're not alone.."

You're only one call away.

Like any other day,

you sat beside me,

calming my erratic heartbeat at the presence of anything that would trigger me.

Here I sit,

hands trembling uncontrollably,

shaking almost as much as the world does during an earthquake.

A hammering heart,

ba dump-ba dump-ba dump it goes.

Standing at a distance,

here I am watching chaos unfold from afar.

It is chaos,

but I'd prefer it if we didn't refer to it as that.

One would call it chaos,

the swarm surrounding her like moths.

One could justify it as being there for her.

Understandable,

but unfortunately for you,

panic attacks don't work like that.

Step One:

If you see someone have a panic attack, approach them slowly, like you would with a wounded animal.

Step Two:

Ask if they're okay, tell them to breathe. Don't resort to physical contact.

Step Three:

Well, be there for them, but give them space.

I am but a bystander in a mess this world has made,

where stress, anxiety and depression are simply something to be diagnosed by doctors.

I find it ironic, really.

The school asked us to teach the younger ones about well-being, educate them about their mental health.

Heh, what a load of shit.

They only did it because the board of education told them to.

Unfortunately, I only did step three.

Or half of it, really!

I sat there, hands shaking, chest heavy, head and heart pounding.

They surrounded her,

as if they were closing in on her.

I kept myself together for long enough.

I was reaching for your bag because you fucked up your leg.

I heard you calling me.

My grip faltered, my legs shaky when I remembered what I was doing,

what I was trying to do, at least.

I didn't turn to look at you,

but I heard one word:

Breathe.

My hands trembled some more before releasing your bag.

My throat closed up, fresh tears springing to my eyes when I remembered why I was going to start crying in the first place.

I couldn't hold it any longer.

I let out a howl, squeezing you in a hug as I cried wolf.

"I'm proud of you," you told me, letting me cry like a little bitch as I squeezed you in a hug.

"You put on a brave face and kept it together."

My chest slowly opened up some more, breathing becoming somewhat easier.

"I'm fucking useless," I whispered, still crying.

"No, don't you dare fucking say that. You did the right thing, you gave her space. We were being fucking idiots."

Not all heroes wear capes, but mine comes in the form of one of my best friends.

Supergirl, where are you now?