A Jacob Black Love Story

The Healing Process

They say that when a suicidal person falls in love, they start feeling like they have something to live for. But when the person that saved them disappears from their life, they take away the hope and beauty, and the broken soul is left worser than ever.
Why do I have to be such an idiot? I pushed Jacob away to make myself feel better, but now I only feel worse. I cry every night, knowing that I screwed things up. I'm doing the one thing that Jacob hated me doing. I'm cutting myself.
Ever since I left Jacob, I haven't seen him in school, and I'm starting to get worried. Of course, there's Jessica, Angela, Bella, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, and Edward to comfort me, but I want Jacob. Things aren't the same without him. He did this to me, knowing that I'll come back every time I go away. He's probably just waiting for me, knowing that I've fallen for  him hard.
I have to forget him. Forget his name, forget his face, his kiss, and warm embrace. I have to forget the love I once knew, but seeing my neck in the bathroom mirror every time I go to take a shower isn't really much help. I have to remember that I belong to him. He marked me. I have to forget his laugh and his grin. I need to forget him.
"Hello, Tessie," Edward says cheerfully.
I grin. "Hello, Eddie."
I know what you're thinking. Why did I just call my friend's boyfriend that? The answer is simple. Someone gives you a nickname, give them one back.
"Do you mind if we go to talk somewhere in private?" Edward asks, looking around.
I nod. "Sure."
He ends up taking me to the janitors closet. All I smell is mop.
I wrinkle my nose. It smells too clean.
"Tessa," Edward says. "Alice can see your future now."
"Really?" I ask in excitement. Then I remember what she said in my house: I can't see Tessa's future! Is it because of the wolves?
At the time, it was. But now that I'm not with Jacob, and she can see my future, is it because I'm going to live a life without my big bad wolf? Yes, ladies. I just called him that. He's my big bad wolf.
  I look up in surprise when Edward clears his throat.
"Can you at least attempt to control your thoughts?" he snaps.
I blush. "Oh, sorry. I forgot about your mind reading powers for a second."
He shakes his head. "So, Alice saw Bella breaking up with me. And she-"
"Bella's going to break up with you?!"
He groans. "Be quiet, Tessa. Anyways, Alice saw you as a vampire because you're going to end up being my girlfriend."
I burst out laughing. "Me? As a vampire? But it'll only hurt my neck more! Jacob already. . ." I trail off. "Whoops."
Edward glares at me. "What did that mutt do?"
I gulp. "He, uh, he marked his territory."
Don't think about it, don't think about it. Edward can read your mind. Don't think about-
I can't help it. I have to remember it. Edward's going to see it sooner or later anyway.
Flashback: All of a sudden, I'm picked up bridal style. Jacob angrily stalks into my bedroom and locks the door. Slamming me on the wall, he yells, "Don't you ever go near a blade again! I thought I told you over a million times that I don't want to lose you! You're mine! Don't you ever try to cut yourself, because, Kitten," he leans closer, nuzzling my neck. "I would be able to sense it every. Single. Time."
And with that, a searing, sharp pain shoots through my neck. I try to pull away from the pain, but then I notice Jacob's face is still nuzzled into my neck. Where the pain is.
He's biting me!
Edward hisses as soon as he finishes reading my mind. I whimper in fear, causing his eyes to snap to mine.
"You've been marked?" he asks me.
  Wordlessly, I nod. Just like that day in the alley when Mike Newton and a bunch of other guys were going to be the death of me. There's nothing to say.
"I won't lie to you, Tessie," Edward says. "I know that wolf's not the one for you. Tell me that I'm wrong, I don't care. Just remember these words: I know I can treat you better than the wolf can."
And with that, he walks out, leaving me stunned. Dropping to the floor, I hug my knees to my chest and I let out a sob. I can't do this to Bella, my friend. I can't do this to Jacob, my puppy I'm in love with. And what Alice saw may not be true. The future can always change.