A Jacob Black Love Story

You Always Stand In My Way

"Boys are cheats and liars
They're such a big disgrace
They will tell you anything
To get to second base-"
Jacob groans. "Tessa, why are you-"
But I ignore him as I sing, "-ball, baseball
He thinks he's gonna score
If you let him go all the way
Then you are a whore-"
"What the fuck?"
"-ticulturists study flowers
Geologists study rocks
The only thing a guy wants from you
Is a place to put his cock-"
"Tessa, if you don't shut up right now, you're gonna regret it," Jacob warns.
"-roaches, beetles
Butterflies, and bugs
Nothing makes him happier
Than a giant pair of jug-"
Jacob glares at me. "Tessa!"
"-glers and acrobats
And dancing bears named Chuck
All guys really want to do is...
Forget it, no such luck!"
I burst out laughing when I finish the little song I learned from the movie The Hot Chick and Jacob stares at me like I've gone insane.
Yes, you have gone insane, Ava says from inside my head. Are you high?
I laugh again. So I may have had a few drinks after the fight I had with my mom. But I'm not that drunk.
Right, and I'm Beyoncé, Ava says with a snort.
I roll my eyes. "Jacob?" I ask. And he glances at me. "Can I turn the TV on?"  We're sitting in his living room, and it feels weird to sit in silence, starting at a black screen with him by my side.
"Sure," he says politely, like I'm a total stranger. "Whatever you want."
I can feel myself getting sober and little annoyed at him, which is totally selfish of me, since he did me a huge favor of driving me and my car back to his place after I acted like an idiot to go get drunk. I bite back a reply, reaching forward to the remote. I flip through the channels until I find the show America's Next Top Model. "This okay?"
"Whatever you want," Jacob repeats in the same tone, making me even more mad.
"Fine," I grumble, turning up the volume. It's only been five minutes before I decide to turn it down again. "Thanks," I say, when I realize I never said that yet. "For picking me up from that bar I was at and making sure I was safe."
Jacob looks away from the TV and then at me and then back to the TV. "Sure," he says in that same tone that makes me want to kill him. "That's what friends do for each other, right?"
He emphasizes that word, so in reply, I just give him a tight smile, turn the volume back up, and look away from him.
Maybe Jacob's feeling as irritated as me because it's only been ten minutes and the tension between is unsettling now.
"It's getting late," Jacob announces, breaking the silence.
I nod but don't say anything as I turn the TV off and follow him to his bedroom. After we get in bed, I put a pillow in between us to avoid any physical contact with him. I can feel his gaze on me, so I shift and glance over at him with my eyebrows raised. "What?"
"Nothing," he says, turning away.
I sigh. "I don't think it's fair for you to be mad at me," I blurt out.
Jacob coughs. "Let's not talk about this," he snaps. "Let's just sleep."
"So we're just going to let this go on till morning?"
He groans. "Look, I'm letting you stay here, aren't I? I'm letting you sleep in my bed with me. Let's leave it at that."
"No," I say. "If you're mad at me, just tell me. Don't try to lie to me about it."
Suddenly I realize that I'm mad at him for being such a jerk about this.
Jacob snorts. "If I'm mad at you?" he asks. "You could've called to tell me you were planning on getting drunk before you got drunk, Tessa. Plus, it's technically illegal for you to be drinking at the age of seventeen. Something could've happened."
I stare at him for a moment. He's so overprotective sometimes. I don't know if I hate it or like it. "Well," I say, feeling a tiny bit off-balance, "maybe I just wanted to forget some things. You shouldn't be mad about this. You're not my father."
Jacob just looks at me. "I know I'm not. But I care about your safety, Tessa. I imprinted on you."
"But you're too protective," I mutter. "Sometimes I just want to have fun, but I won't be able to because you'll be standing in my way. You always stand in my way." I feel bad as soon as the words leave my mouth.
Jacob says something that I don't hear because I feel myself yawning, my eyes  getting heavy. I turn on my side and feel my eyes close.
I half expect to dream about my dad, but dreams are uncontrollable. And when my eyes open again, I realize that I've been dreaming about Jacob. We were back together at La Push, I was in his arms, and he was kissing me.
I sit up and look around. The bedroom light is on and Jacob's rummaging through his dresser drawers. I look at the window. It looks like it's early in the morning, and when I pull out my phone, I see that it's seven in the morning. I stretch my legs out in front of me, and stretch my arms.
I'm not sure Jacob even knows I'm up because he walks out of the room with clothes in his hands, and a minute later, I hear the shower get turned on. I don't know how long he's going to take, so to keep myself from getting bored, I reach for his iPod and start scrolling through it. I look at his playlists, realizing with a shock that he never titles his playlists. I always title mine, so I just go to "Top 5 Most Played."

Top 5 Most Played
  Treat You Better        Shawn Mendes
  Elastic Heart            Sia
  Say It                      Flume, Tove Lo
  Smack That              Akon
  All Time Low           Jon Bellion

At first I'm just looking through them, smiling when I notice that Tove Lo is on the list. She's, like, amazing. But as I look at it a little longer, my eyes widen.
There's a code.
I wonder if he even knew he did it. But the first letter of every song title is a letter in my name. Treat You Better, Elastic Heart, Say it, Smack That, All Time Low. Tessa. I feel myself smile, feeling like he just gave me a present.
I see the knob to the the bedroom turn, and I quickly put the iPod back on his shelf where I found it. I smile at Jacob when he walks in. For a moment, I forget about how weird things are between us right now; it seems like an instinct to smile when I see him. He smiles back at me, but his smile fades a second later, like he forgot for a moment, too.
"What time did you wake up?" I ask, as he takes a seat on the end of the bed.
"Five thirty," he says. "I couldn't sleep."
I nod, expecting him to lecture me about drinking last night, but he doesn't. We sit in awkward silence. Jacob looks at me and opens his mouth like he's going to say something. Then he closes his mouth and looks away, but only for a moment before he looks at me again.
"So," he says.
  I raise my eyebrows when he doesn't say anything else. "So?" I prompt.
"I couldn't sleep because I was thinking about what you told me," he says slowly, like he's trying to find the right words. "You said that I always stand in your way."
"Yes," I make myself say, even though I want to tell him that I regret saying what I did last night. I was mad, he was mad.  I didn't mean anything I said. 
He lets out a long breath, then continues, "When we first started going out, everything was okay. We never fought. We agreed on everything. And after I marked you, it's like you changed. We never get along anymore. You're always so stubborn and you have a mind of your own. You do the unexpected." He chuckles, and I think about the day we made cake and how we yelled at each other. Him, for not telling me why he marked me. Me, for not making the cake right. He clears his throat before speaking. "I don't know. Maybe it was the day when you saw me yelling at Sam. But at some point, I started. . .thinking about Bella," he admits. "I started thinking about her more than I knew I should. But I wasn't sure. . . I didn't know how you might be feeling until last night."
"Right," I murmur, thinking about what I said to him. You always stand in my way. But now I'm confused. Does this mean he's in love with Bella? Is he going to break up with me? With a sigh, I say, "We don't really have that much in common anymore. It's like things aren't right between us."
He frowns. "So you feel the same way."
Before I can reply, he leans forward and kisses me.
I kiss him back. It lasts for just a moment, but I kiss him back, right away, without any hesitation.
But then I pull away and stand up as reality comes crashing down on me. "Oh my god," I say quietly. He basically just told me he was in love with Bella and that things aren't the same between us. Now he has the nerve to kiss me? That jerk!
Jacob stands up too. "Tessa. . .," he starts.
"Don't," I say quickly. I suddenly feel sick, and look down at my hands, which are shaking.
"I'm sorry," he whispers, his voice coming out scratchy. "I shouldn't' have-"
And then, because I don't think I can stand to be near him anymore, I turn and walk away, back toward the front door.
I hear Jacob call my name, but I don't turn around, and when he calls it again, I break into a run, aware that it's the second time I'm running out of his house.