The Next Adventure (2003 Peter Pan fanfiction)

"Jealousy? Tink."

THE NEXT ADVENTURE: Chapter 24

"Peter, you have no right to be mad at me!"
"Why would you just leave in the middle of the night--what if Tink needed you--what if she saw a ship--what if Hook was on that ship? What if I needed you?!"
"I've had just about enough of this jealously!" I protested and began to turn away. I heard Peter falter behind me and was forced to catch him before he fell. Still, I was angry at him but helped him to his feet.
"What if that happened when you were gone?!" Peter said in panic.
"You should go back to sleep, Peter," I said sternly and started walking out of Peter's room.
"Wait--where are you going?!" He begged to know.

With tears in my eyes, I ignored him and escaped outside to the tree house balcony. Feeling dreadfully weak and confused now, I thought about Robin. It wasn't fair the way Peter treated him. Poor Tinkerbell, not even does Peter appreciate her enough right now like he should. Thinking more about Robin, I began feeling happy that I went with him rather then guilty. And I hated thinking like that, but Peter was just so different...so jealous and bitter. And Robin was just so filled of heart and concern and determination. He was a boy that deserved respect and attention.

Peter seemed to be getting too much from me. I felt like maybe that was why he was so attached. I know I had to nurse him back to health but he was spoiled...selfish...frustrating to deal with--but yet I still loved being with him again. And seeing the changes in his face from when I was reunited with him have just made me so proud and hopeful.

Not having any hope for so long, I guess it was nice to have some now that I was back in Neverland, and maybe I could hope Peter's attitude would change. But I can only hope.

Wiping the fresh tears from my eyes...ready to produce more, I was startled by Robin landing on the balcony and quickly strengthened. Tink's bell had sounded just then so I knew she was with him. They must've went off and talked about the outcome when returning home from that masquerade ball and how Tink could fix Peter. "Wendy, I've got to talk to you," Robin cried helplessly.

Tink's bell faded out and I looked up witnessing her fly into the tree house. Robin--his dark brows frowning--he sat down next to me. "I'm so sorry, for everything!" I looked down.
"Don't be," I said more angry at Peter then anything.
"But, Peter--" I looked back up at him.
"Yes, Peter Pan, apparently not even sleeping dust can keep him from waking," I joked. Robin smiled a little but hid it, probably because he thought it'd be rude if he smiled. But even I wanted to smile at that. Peter was restless...he's always been and it was so child-like of him but that was what made him the boy that never grows up. But I'll admit, after being here again, I often wondered how Peter would be as a man. Would he be more like Robin? Was that something I wanted?

"I still hope you'll forgive me, I didn't mean to come in between you and Peter--"
"Oh, no, Robin, definitely not," I said very determined to make him believe me. He looked down slightly sad. "You shouldn't blame yourself," I said quickly. Robin met my eyes again. "For anything. You didn't do anything wrong, and you don't deserve the guilt at which holds you so. And I could see it. You let it...all the time."
"Wendy you don't understand--"
"No, Robin. You don't understand...I may not know much of what you've gone through in your life but Peter does and Peter could do anything and feel nothing but happiness all while doing it."
"Everyone is different, Wendy--"
"Yes, but take Peter for example--he can inspire you to look up and feel so strong and freed from the harsh realities in the real world. Don't fly into Neverland carrying bits of your old life with you, and I'm almost positive Tink has told you that."
"That's sounds like Heaven, Wendy...but," Robin looked down, "I could never prove anything to Peter." Feeling terribly sympathetic now, I quickly touched Robin's arm eagerly.
"He is still adjusting...he'll come around...I'll make sure he does; if it takes just about everything to convince him to do so..." Robin waited looking at me. I felt doubtful a moment but then strengthened, "Then let it take everything, let it take nearly every piece of strength I have in my body."

Robin suddenly smiled and unexpectedly, he jumped at me like he was about to hug me but stopped himself, embarrassed and realizing it was too late to pretend he wasn't just about to hug me. Smiling--I knew he'd always try to resist but I told him I'd be there for him. There's no harm in hugging someone, right? So I did. I pulled Robin into a hug. "It's alright," I said.

At first I felt him try to resist but I held on and he relaxed finally. The one problem Robin had was that he never felt welcome...he could never bring himself to believe he had friends--or that people cared about him in Neverland. He didn't have confidence, or something to let him forget the world and escape for a while it seemed like. Maybe his hunting helped him escape though it seemed like he would always go back to perishing and being bombarded with his internal insecurities. Nothing was too strong to break down his doubts just enough towards where bits and pieces of those doubts start to fade and disappear. Maybe instead of helping just Peter, I could help Robin as well.

No harm in that, right?

Releasing Robin from my arms now, I held an encouraging smile. Picking off his coon hat, I dropped it on my head lightly. He held back a smile. "Say...might you have an extra--one you could wear?" I played hoping to make him laugh. "No? Well that's a shame, I must say. You'll just have to make another then--for yourself that is..." I teased some more. Scooting the coon hat backwards so the stripped tail was before my eyes, I waited still for at least a smile. Finally, I got one. "What? Do I look funny?" I joked some more. Robin ultimately busted out laughing.

With success, I smiled at him and gave his hat back. "You should always smile. Your teeth are beautifully straight," I complimented wanting to boost his confidence. He blushed wildly and pushed back on his treasured and furry head warmer.
"You really think so?" He asked. I nodded quickly.
"Always..." I assured him.
"Thanks," he finally said. I nodded. "No--not just for the compliment but for everything..."
"Oh--of coarse, no worries, right?" I asked quoting his most commonly used phrase.
"Oh--certainly," he said very proper with a small smile on his lips.

It's kind of funny. Before...Robin seemed so confident and so positive and filled of all this life, but after knowing him and learning more about him, I realized he could never be more opposite. Seconds passed and the sudden chiming of Tink's bell caught my attention. She had come back out of the tree house so concerned. "Wendy, please come quickly...Peter's in tears. He wants so desperately to talk to you."
"Oh my--it couldn't be because he fell again," I hoped. Tink shook her little head quickly.
"No...it's much more, please."
"Oh, alright." I stood up quickly and looked as Robin stood with me.
"Go ahead," he said. I nodded quickly and escaped back into the tree house.

Entering Peter's room, the instant his teary eyes saw me, he ran over and pulled me into a hug. "Jeez Wendy, I'm so sorry--please--please tell me you arn't mad anymore? I'll do anything--"
"It's okay--"
"Gosh, I missed you so much. I'm so sorry, Wendy, so sorry--"
"Peter, it's alright--"
"I want you to be mine so much--"

Suddenly all got quiet. Peter and I both seemed shocked at what he just said and looked at each other. Everything I had felt not too long ago when I began to hope for the old Peter started coming back to me like heavy ocean waves causing my heart to even be moved and it almost hurt having to answer this question so suddenly, and I knew that's what Peter wanted deep down inside but through his glistening green eyes, I could see he was deeply regretting the fact something so serious slipped from his mouth so soon and in the oddest moment of all moments. Peter knew he couldn't take back his sudden overflow of emotion so all there was left to do was answer him.
"I'll have to think about it," I said cautiously. His expression was dreadfully unreadable. It was almost like he was hurt and worried but also serene and struggling to let me go...and he backed off.
"Whatever you need," he mumbled now facing me in slight hurt but understanding my choice. Looking down a moment, the instant he lifted his gaze again, my stomach sank because I saw all kinds of hurt in his eyes and his brows frowned slightly.

I knew he was beating himself up inside now...this was almost expected. What I hadn't told Robin about Peter was how much he changed and no longer might he feel confident and strong like the Peter I told him about. Several emotions came to me at once now...guilt, confusion...and doubt with some sadness.

Maybe I couldn't fix both boys like I had previously hoped.

I needed to get away just then. "I'll be off to bed now," I said to Peter assuring him that I was leaving. He suddenly stopped me.
"Wait! You arn't going to stay?" No, definitely not.
"I'm afraid not, Peter."

He nodded looking down. Once more, he met my eyes just to say goodnight but in his heart--I could see--there was so much more. Troubled, I nodded and left.

Sleep never came for me that night, but never had I ever been more grateful to have a room of my own.

Most the night I thought about that special feeling I got with Peter all the time. It was neither pure happiness nor pure sadness. It was a mixture of the two...and it had a little bit of fear in it...some excitement...and some confusion but it was exotic and beautiful...irresistible too. It was almost like being lost as well as thrilled to be so far away from your comfort zone. No doubt that was dangerous, but was it worth it?