Always Awake

Chapter 15

"What do you mean?" I asked. I had never seen Jack so upset, he always seems tough. It must be serious if he is on the verge of tears. "The night Zak died...-" he started. I gasped, what happened to Jack having nothing to so with Zak's death? I was gripping Jack's hand tightly. "Uh Ellie...I think you are cutting off the blood circulation in my hand" Jack chuckled nervously.

"Sorry" I took a step back.

He blanked out for a moment. I felt sick. This can't be happening.

"Jack?"

"Oh yeah sorry... On the night Zak died, after you left. Well, I was really mad at him and I blamed him for you being mad at me. I said some stuff, that I regretted, like really mean stuff. And...I punched him..." Jack said it all so slowly, it was hard to process.

I was in shock. Was Jack really that protective of me?

"Is that it?" I said.

"No..."

How can it get any worse? Seriously?

"When you told me about Zak's life, I said some stuff about him not being wanted or anything and his family hated him..."

"Jack! How could you! You of all people? You know what it's like to have difficult family issues at home!" I cried.

"I know-" he whimpered. "I was just so angry, and things were said which I didn't mean, but he took it seriously" Jack sounded guilty.

I didn't know what to feel. Jack is my boyfriend but Zak, I don't know. He was my friend, and we connected that time at the beach. I don't know if I should be mad at Jack.

I had to know the full story before I got annoyed at anyone.

"What happened next?" I said. We were now on a bench outside school, everyone was inside but Jack didn't mind ditching. And I didn't come into school in the first place.

"Well it was getting dark, and we knew a storm was brewing, but we continued to argue. I saw the lightning coming, but by this point we were physically fighting, and he ended up being left on the sand, not being able to move. I got a bit cocky, and said 'who knows you might get hit? that would be a relief'. Then I left, I felt bad. I couldn't go back there, and when I heard he died from lightning...I felt responsible. So stupidly I did what I thought I'd stopped a long time ago".

I was lost for words. Jack could of been part of the reason Zak died. If he didn't hurt him, Zak could of moved and not been hit.

"Oh Jack..." I said through muffled tears. I had my arms round him. "It's all my fault" he whispered. I didn't reply to that, because it was partly true. "Does anyone else know?" I asked. "No".

The bell rang for interval, I looked at Jack desperately. I touched his hand, he flinched a little. "It's okay... Let's go" I said. I led him away from school and we headed for the beach.

I didn't realise it would be hard to go to the beach, all I could think about was Zak. About how he died there, and how Jack was part of it. But I kept walking and took a step onto the silky sand. Jack didn't follow though. I looked at him. "I can't Ellie...-".

"How come?"

"I can't face it there, I can't. I hurt him. I basically told him to die. I can't" Jack fell down onto the pavement and broke into tears. He had never looked so ashamed. I didn't know if I should comfort him, I knelt down, and put a caring hand to his face. Jack hit off my hand, he stared at the ground. I just got up and proceeded home. I looked back, from a little up the hill. I got a good view of the beach. I saw Zak's caravan, I had toppled over from the madness of the storm. Jack was still near the beach, knelt on the pavement.
The house was still awfully quiet. I wish things could go back to normal. On the table there was an envelope addressed to me. Non one ever sent me mail?

It read...

To Ellie,

I understand you were friendly with our son, Zak Reid. We appreciate you keeping him company. I know we weren't on the best terms with him when he passed, but there was a lot of issues. We always cared for him, but we thought he needed space to do his own thing.

On Wednesday 7th of July, his funeral will be held. It is at the Rosemary Cemetery at 1pm. We would appreciate you attending.

Sincerely,

Kim and Graham Reid.

After reading it, I realised that the funeral was on the date of Jack's birthday.