Always Awake

Chapter 20

I chilled at Jack's all evening. We lay on the sofa talking about stuff that no one would understand.

"Come with me" Jack beamed, standing up taking my hand. I had never seen him smile so hard in ages.

"Uhm, okay?" I laughed quietly.

"Shut your eyes" he whispered.

"What no! No freaking way! You will probably kill me or some shit" I babbled pushing him lightly. The hallway was dark.

He let go of my hand. I felt his warm breath on my neck. "Don't you trust me?" he murmured. "I do!"

"Then shut your eyes and trust me" I demanded. I closed my eyes, Jack wrapped an arm around my neck and took hold of my hand.

I laughed as walked along in silence. It felt like we were walking for hours.

His hands were placed over my eyes now, standing behind me. Breathing lightly. I felt and heard every breath.

I am so freaking proud of him. As I felt those breaths surge through my blood. Jack is still here, on this earth living his life. He is still breathing. Fighting. I can't explain how proud I am. Proud is an understatement, he hasn't given up on himself because he may not know admit it but maybe he knows there's light at the end of the tunnel. Jack knows that he is swimming in millions of thoughts, trying to bring him down. But as he fights each one, they drown not him. One day the thoughts will all be drowned and he will be free. Released from the pain. The day will come where he doesn't feel the pain anymore. I don't know what he is hanging onto, but I hope he always has faith in it. And there is always a reason for him to keep breathing. The world isn't giving up on him or making it hard purposely, the world is making him stronger and is making sure that in future he can handle anything that is thrown at him. It may seem unfair, but the universe is only making him better. Jack is breathing and living. I am so fucking proud, every single breath means something. Every breath he takes is like a punch at the thoughts in his head. Each breath he takes, the more thoughts he kills. If he keeps breathing they will all be gone.

"Open your eyes beautiful"

This was truly the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. We were on the roof of Jack's house I think. When did he do this?

Beanbags were set out, snacks of popcorn, sweets, fizzy drinks, burgers were all there. He had even put out candles.

I swear my heart was melting. A tear slipped, I sniffled.

"Do you like?"

"Like? I love it"

"Really? It's not too much?"

"No, it's perfect. I love it, I love it, I love it!" I squealed, twirling round to hug him.

My arms were wrapped around his neck, face nestled into his neck. He lifted me from my feet, spinning me around.

We sat on his roof for hours, watching the stars twinkle above. Shining bright.
They reminded me of Jack. He might not be right now, but he's the best star out there. Maybe his light is off right now, but when it's on, it's the brightest and boldest one up there. I smiled at the sky.

I turned over to look at Jack. He was staring at me. Does he like doing that?

I always get nervous when he looks at me like that. I hunched my knees up to my chest hiding my embarrassment.

"Don't feel embarrassed" he spoke.

I twisted my head.

"Your beauty blows me away"

"Jack stop" I giggled, his placed his hand under my chin. Lifting my face up. This wasn't the first time he has said something like that. He must really mean it right?

One of his hands held mine, the other was on my face. He swirled his thumb in light circles beneath my eye. "Why you gotta be so perfect?" he smiled.

Ok he can stop now. Perfect, bull.

"No one is perfect" I replied simply.

"You see Ellie, everyone has their own version of perfection. Your mine"

Jack can make me blush, that's for sure. Charmer.

I turned to face the sky. The sun was starting to rise. The ocean in the distance was blood red, the golden beam of light made an appearance in the early morning dusty sky.

By the time the sun was high in the sky, I was beginning to doze off. We both were.

Just as my eye fluttered shut, Jack's voice spoke.

"Wanna know something?" Said a familiar, sleepy voice.

"Mm" I tried to speak, but I was so tired. I could hardly process anything.

"You're the reason I'm breathing right now"

I was what Jack was hanging onto

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what's up guys!¡

be thankful i wrote this at 2am ;)

i am quite proud of this chapter especially where ellie speaks about how proud she is of jack. by the way I don't copy the way i say this stuff, it all comes in my head. like with the punches for e.g, i thought of that myself . reason why im proud of this chapter.

im sorry the chapter is kinda short, but yeh i was tired.

have a good day/night for me😂 where ever you may be, ur amazing okay.

vote&comment&share💕

love yall loadssss

lav eve xx