Don't Let Me Go

Chapter 1 - Memories

"Why?"

"How could you do this to me?"

"Tell me!"

Dara screamed at me while clutching the front of my shirt, shaking me.

"How could you?! You promised—" she continued with her shaking voice and broken sobs as she cried her eyes out in front of me.

We stood there in the middle of my apartment's living room with Dara's luggage beside her. I just looked at her not moving nor saying anything despite her continuous cries and pleading words. I snapped my eyes closed while clenching my fists as I can't stand seeing her breaking down in front of me. The girl who used to laugh with her glittering eyes is now crying and begging me to answer her questions.

I had no right to say anything to defend myself nor to apologize for what I did. It's all my fault. I was in my right mind when I did everything I've done. I chose this. I know I could hurt her with what I'm doing yet I didn't do anything to stop myself either. This is the consequence of the choice I made—Dara ended up being hurt.

I opened my eyes and look down at her. I was about to hold her when she suddenly pulled away from me and look at me straight in the eye with her tear streaked face "Is this how it ends Jiyong? Don't you love me anymore? Am I not worth it? she asked brokenly biting her lips to stop it from trembling.

I was taken aback by her questions. I tried to rack my brain for some answer but I can't seem to find one. It's just a simple question that can be answered by Yes or No, yet I find it hard to answer her question. It's as if my tongue was cut, I can't utter a single word. I opened my mouth only to close it again. What should I say? Will words be enough to undo what I've done? Will it take away all the pain that I've caused her?

I didn't know I was staring at her quite long when she suddenly broke the silence stretched between us, "I guess I'm not" Dara uttered quietly looking at me with a pained expression written all over her face.

I woke up from the loud ringing of my phone. I snapped my eyes open and was confused for a moment as I realized I'm not at home. I looked around me only to find out that I've fallen asleep inside the studio of YG building. I groaned and stretch my arms upward and turn my head in a circular motion followed by craking of my neck from left to right. My whole body's aching as I've slept while sitting on the swivel chair with my head resting on top of the table in front of me.

I remember going straight to the studio after the meeting I had with Hyunsuk hyung. After what happened yesterday at the building's lobby, I decided to start working on our album to keep my mind from thinking about her. But I failed miserably as all I can think about the whole night was her blank face staring at me. I closed my eyes and tried to empty my mind when I heard the loud ringing of my phone again that has been long forgotten the moment I wake up. I was about to look for my phone when I caught sight of a paper lying on the floor with words written on it. I picked up the piece of paper and read the words written at the upper middle part of it.

"If You"

Is what's written on the top of what I think the lyrics that I made last night. As I've read each word, painful memories came rushing to me. The scenes in the dream I had earlier pops into my mind which reminds me of what happened the day Dara broke up with me.

My vision blurs as tears started to welled up in the corner of my eyes. I looked up to stop the tears from fallling and to stop myself from breaking down. I clutched my chest as I felt a painful tug in my heart. I choked back a sob that's trying to escape my trembling lips and cover my mouth to keep me from producing any painful sound.