Only Time Can Tell

BRIGHTEST SMILE

CHAPTER 21

BRIGHTEST SMILE

SAKURA UCHIHA

Time passed and my heart ached. All of my friends...they're extraordinary.....and among them, I am the only ordinary one. If I were one of them....maybe I would be worth something? Images flew past me, the years passing, everyone aging around me. But on the inside, I'm still the Sakura I was when I was young, everyone changes so willingly around me, bettering themselves, except for me. I never change.

    I had made an attempt, to catch up with them, I met with Lady Tsunade, I trained with her, but only continued to prove just how far away I was from them. All I could do was heal, all I was able to do was stand by and watch.

    But every time when Sasuke stepped into my life, it was like I was finally able to see, every time I hoped that he was there to stay, that he would listen to me, and that he wouldn't care that I was useless and pathetic, that he would stay anyway because my love was enough. But it was never enough, Sasuke was a restless spirit and all my attempts to bring him back proved useless. Every time I saw him, a tiny piece of my heart crumbled and disappeared. Every time my heart stopped.

    I saw little shreds of what I knew was reality. I saw Sarada, standing over, holding my hand, tears streaming down her face. Every time I saw her, I was too weak to respond, I felt every time they tried to bring me back to life, but their efforts were useless, I could only see the darkness of Sasuke's eyes.

    "Annoying." I apologize, Sarada, I must be so annoying. I must be the worst mother ever, you even doubted that you were actually my child. I certain that you would rather be the daughter of a hero like Naruto, that you would rather that your mom be a strong dependable kunoichi, but on the inside, I'm a fragile as a flower. And I've failed over and over again.

So why do I keep going back to him? I see myself surrounded, in the middle of a lake, it's reflection so pristine it's like a mirror. Except when I look into that mirror all I see is Sasuke. When we were younger all I wanted to do was heal that brokenness inside of him, I pressured him to change who he was, and I basically pushed away who he really was.

And right when people need me, right when I finally find a use for myself, I cave on the inside, I give into fear, and I become useless again. Everyone else is so confident in their abilities, and don't fear pain, they don't care if they get hurt, or even if they die protecting their beliefs, but me? No matter how often I confirm my beliefs, no matter how hard I work to try and catch up to them, I still lose myself as soon as I step up onto the battlefield.

And now, Sarada...my daughter....my beautiful daughter.

I remember the war, it flashes through my mind every time I close my eyes. As a medical ninja I was exposed to more death than anyone else. I remember in the early stages of the war, we had to turn away patients because we didn't know if they were actually White Zetsu or not. I remember, there was a woman to came to me secretly after I left the medical tent. She was mute, she couldn't speak, and she was covered in blood that wasn't her's. I knew that I wasn't supposed to, but I could see the humanity in her eyes, and in her attempts to communicate with me I ended up following her. She wasn't a ninja, she wasn't supposed to be involved in the war, but I knew there were civilians out there, people who were suffering because of this war. Collateral damage.

She lead me, as best as she could through the forest surrounding the camp. We walked for about a mile, and I started to want to go back, this woman...she had a shard of shrapnel stuck in her leg, and every time I attempted to treat her, she fought me off. Instead she pulled me into a cave, it was dark, but she lead me through the darkness.

I used my chakra to form a light. There....in the darkness, was a bunch of families, huddled together, desperately clinging to each other the best they could in their weakened states. Some I could immediately tell were dead. Some of their wounds were very clearly infected, there were many that I knew I couldn't save. But among them were injured women and children, families, elderly. I looked over at the woman who had guided me to there. She smiled and gestured to them. She was pleading for me to help them. This innocent mute young woman, who travelled a mile even despite her injuries....she saved families. And me?

I flew to their aid, not even thinking about the protocol of the White Zetsu, I healed so many that day, and that woman...I didn't even know her name, she left to go and bring water to the wounded, she draped long leaves over the dead, mutely counseled the grieving, and even though she didn't have a voice, she was able to provide help in her own way. She was the most human person I ever saw during the war.

Thanks to her I was able to save 34 men, women, and children. A lot of which, without her would have died in that cave. And that left her, with her leg. I smiled at her, gesturing for her to come to me, and I slowly treated her, with great care I removed the shrapnel and helped with the infection the best I could. I wrapped up her leg, and once I was finished, she took my hand and looked into my eyes. She couldn't tell me her thanks, but the way that she looked at me was enough. It reflected a thousand words of thanks, an entire story. She pulled me to her and gently pecked my forehead.

Another woman limped forward, one who I had treated earlier, her husband was one of the bodies carefully draped with leaves. And though her face was tear-streaked, she smiled when she saw me.

"Her name is Aimi Lanfeng. She's one of the young women from our village. Our village was in flames, we got hit by an attack from the distance, and though many had evacuated because of the proximity of the war, many of us with families stubbornly chose to stay in the homeland." The woman sighed, looking around her, "You've seen where that got us. And even though Aimi wasn't an influential woman in the village she brought us all here, to protect us from the flames in the village. She brought us somewhere safe. She would leave the save for days, looking for help, and she brought you to us. And even though many of us inevitably died, she was able to pull all of us out from the wreckage."

Aimi smiled, touching the woman's hand. "We all owe her so much. And we owe you too, thank you so much. I know that Aimi would say that if she could. If it weren't for her finding a powerful kunoichi like you, we all would have rotted here."

I asked her if there was anything else I could do to help them. But she smiled and shook her head, she understood that my aid was desperately needed back at the medical tent. She assured me that they would all be okay, and so hugging Aimi and her one last time, I left them. But I couldn't leave without seeing Aimi's smile in my head. In all of that death, a smile like that remained to pull them all back together.

And so I was inspired by Aimi. And I might not be strong. I might not be able to fight like Sasuke or Naruto, I'm not talented in that way. But I will always be there to pick up the pieces, and I will always have a smile like her's to remind them that there is still light in this world.