Only Time Can Tell

MOONLIT GUILT

SEVERAL MONTHS LATER

FILLER 8

MOONLIT GUILT

SARADA UCHIHA

Chi-chan is screaming again. It's 5 in the morning, and he's screaming again. I crawl out of bed, my eyes still closed as I feel for the door and stumble into the hallway. I squint my eyes open and see my dad holding Chikara in his arms, huge black circles under his eyes. A wave of guilt sweeps over me.

"I'll take him?" I suggest.

"Sarada-"

"I'm taking him." I said without waiting for his response. I grab Chikara and sway him back and forth. "I'll walk him around for a while, so sleep while you can." He makes a pathetic attempt at a smile before stumbled back into their bedroom. I hear my mother groaning as she rolls over in her sleep. Chikara doesn't like the morning hours.

Chikara continues to wail in my arms, his face screwed up and red in anger, his hands balled into fists, his eyes clenched tight. "Shhhh..." I said opening the door to the courtyard, stepping outside. The cool fall air passes over the two of us and Chikara's hand flail in the air. "Hush, hush. Chi-chan...." I touch his face and his eyes open just slightly. "Look at the moon, Chi-chan." I say pointing to the sky. "Isn't it pretty? Do you think you can touch it?"

His crying slowly stopped. "See? Isn't it pretty?" His hands reach out to the glowing pale orb in the sky, and I follow his gaze. It is beautiful tonight. A perfect half-moon, it's craters visible, the center crevice still visible from when it had been cracked in half. Chi-chan reaches out to it and makes a gurgling noise. "Yeah..." I whisper to myself.

I blink as a shadow passes over the moon. What? I squint seeing if my eyes deceive me, but they're not. It's Boruto. What is he doing out this early? He whizzing towards me, jumping over the wall and into the courtyard with Chikara and I. He stands in front of me, his blonde hair obviously windswept and toppling over. His eyes are the same color, still the same unbelievably blue sky color, the same innocent eyes. The same troublesome eyes. I get lost in them and are caught staring at him for too long. He's...

"Aren't you going to call me an idiot, or ask why I'm here?" Boruto says raising an eyebrow and shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Uh-" I say suddenly ripping my eyes from his, trying to recover and make it seem like I totally wasn't just staring... "Yeah, what are you doing here baka?"

"I was training really early with my dad and heard Chikara, I assumed you were awake." Boruto cocked his head, looking closer at the red faced Chikara. "He's not getting any better with sleeping, huh? You Uchihas are night owls."

"Hn." I say not finding a good response. I would beg to differ. I would give anything just to get some sleep right about now. The urge to just lean up against Boruto and close my eyes is overwhelming. I slap myself in my mind, snap out of it. You're just drowsy. "Even Chi-chan thinks you're an idiot."

"Maybe he's right, what am I to judge?" Boruto teases running a hand through his disheveled hair. "You hanging in there?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." My eyelids feel like they're made of concrete, and my joints feel like they're made of Playdough, I'm pretty sure that there's strands of hair still stuck in my mouth from being asleep. My lips are chapped and dry that they probably resemble an abandoned desert on this planet. I quickly try to clean myself up a bit, pulling the hair out of my mouth, straighten myself up a little and Boruto blushes.

"You look fine." Boruto says looking away from me.

"Really? I just rolled out of bed, I wasn't expecting you."

"I wasn't really expecting to come, but I felt like it so here I am."

"You just go on a whim don't you, baka..." Boruto suddenly looks back at me with wide eyes, he looks from Chikara to me to Chikara and back again. Then his face turns bright red. I cock my head wondering just what is going on in his head. "What?"

"Nothing." A question begins to grow in my gut, it bubbles up to my throat and I can't force it down. "Boruto...do you still feel guilty about what happened to Sai?"

"Huh? That's a strange question to ask."

"I don't think it is. You've been acting normal, but every now and then I see you looking sad and alone. You can talk to me. You can. I'm your...girlfriend." I said forcing out the word. Instead of feeling the backlash of having used such a strong word instead my heart pools with warmth. It's not such a bad title.

"It's....not important. It's been over 3 years, Sarada..." Boruto looks away from me.

"You're looking away from me. I can tell that you aren't telling me everything Boruto. You're thinking to yourself, and you're thinking you're alone. I've healed, I've talked with Inojin, I've spent time with his family, and I've reconciled, I've forgiven myself. But you..."

"It's not your business, Sarada." Boruto's tone suddenly shuts down. He's shutting me out.

"Boruto. I think it's important for you to talk about it. You have to. Especially to me. None of it was your fault-" I reach out to him and touch his arm but he jerks away taking a step back. His eyes continue to refuse to meet mine. "What's wrong?"

"I don't deserve to be forgiven. A human life...I've learned so much, so quickly, Sarada. And I wasted a human life. In a sense I ended it. I don't have the right to reconcile."

"Yes you do!" I say my voice rising. "Everyone deserves forgiveness. You can't look at me and tell me I'm wrong, can you?!" Boruto's eyes whip up and suddenly they're staring at me. I feel disarmed by his gaze. It leaves me broken. Something in my chest turns cold and heavy. His eyes meet mine with hatred.

"You're wrong, Sarada! You can move on, you did everything you could! I did everything wrong and I ended up ending someone's life! How can you ever expect me to change?! I killed Sai!!!" His voice rose rapidly. His words were cold. It didn't sound like his voice. It didn't sound like him anymore.

"Boruto-"

"No!" Boruto says stopping me. "I'm....I'm done here. I can't do this. I can't. Sarada..." He turns away from me his shoulder blades tense with anger. I find my limbs useless to stop him. He seems so far away now. His voice turns to a sharp blade. "Sorry for annoying you like this...I won't do it again."

"Boruto!" I feel something break inside of my chest, and Chikara squirms against me. Boruto takes a step forward and suddenly he's gone. The moon has taken his place. And I'm lonely.