A Jackass Life. (A Bam Margera Love story)

I..i cant do this right now"

"I'm Jonny Knoxville. This is the 'Anaconda ball pit'
Said Jonny as me, wee man, Ryan and himself were in a ball pit with 2 Anacondas.  Weeman smacked Knoxville in the nuts.
"Ow, I have on a cup and that still hurt." He says laughing
Knoxville kicked Weeman in his nuts for revenge and we all laughed again.

I wasn't a big fan of snakes, but I could deal with them.
Better than Bam anyway.
Bam, Steve-o and Pontius were watching us do the skit.

Jonny found one of the snakes and tried to pick it up.
Making the snake angry and the snake bit him.
Blood trickled down his arm.
I was laughing a bit.
The snakes tail was wrapping itself around Ryan's legs, and making him fall.
And as Jonny tried to grab the snake again, the Anaconda went for his crotch but missed.
He grabbed s hold of the snake again, and it bit Knoxville in the upper arm drawing blood immediately.

The guy grabbed the snake from Jonny, and we all looked at his arm which had now been covered in blood. His own though.

Ryan got bit on his leg by the second anaconda in the ball pit and jumped out.
"Oh shit, we forgot about the other snake" said Jonny.
We all laughed, and I got the hell out of there.
Jumping over the edge of the pit and helping up Ryan.

After that, we all went to Bam's house to film, 'the shock phone' skit.

"So this is a 1945 military phone, and  I read somewhere that these were used at torturing devices." Said Knoxville. "You use this little crank down here to generate power, and we're gonna hook up loomis, and see if it gives him a little shock"

Loomis sat in the chair, and Pontius put the clips on his fingers.
"I don't wanna hurt loomis, but I guess I will"  said Pontius making everyone laugh.

"Bringgg" said Jonny making a phone call noise.
"Loomis, you have a phone call." Pontius gave loomis the phone.
"Hello" said loomis and almost fell out of the chair once he was shocked.
He put the phone down, and got up from the chair.
"The phone sucks. Fuck that" said loomis as him and all of us laughed.
Bam was sitting next to me, an Steve-o, and we were all laughing.
"Bringgh" said Jonny making the phone noise again.
" oh Bam, phone call"
And I laughed. Bam looked like he was about to dread this.
We all knew he didn't wanna do it.
He got up and say in the chair anyway.
Knoxville and Pontius hooked up the clips to his toes.
"Hello" he said into the phone
"Hello" he said twice, and was shocked like hell.
Making a sort of painful noise as he jumped up from the chair and fell on the ground.
"Oh, don't do it" he said looking at me as I laughed.
Knoxville did the phone noise again after Bam had stood back up from the ground.
"Steve-o, it's the health department" Pontius said making everyone laugh and Steve-o to Cringe and cover his face. "It's urgent" said Pontius.
"Fuck" yell Steve-o
Bam put out his pouty face and bottom lip to tell Steve-o to put his out. Bam hooked up the clips to his bottom lip
"Close your eyes Steve-o, you gotta take a phone call too."
Steve-o picked up the phone, "God damnit"
Everyone was telling Steve-o to say hello, but he didn't get the chance to, before he was shocked.
"God damnit" Steve-o said again and me and Bam were laughing like fuck.
"How hard did you crank it?" Knoxville asked Pontius, he just smiled.
"I cranked it pretty hard" he said and me and Bam almost fell over laughing.

Knoxville made the phone ringing noise again, Pontius picked it up.
"Luke Wilson?" What? Oh there he is." He said pointing at our friend Luke who was an actor.
A damn good one at that too.
Luke walked up to me and the guys, "aye it's me." He said and we laughed.
" Any chance you putting it on the balls?" Asked Knoxville.
"No" said Luke.