Trees

Melancholy

~Tyler~
"Tyler get up" my mom's voice rang through my ears as the demons inside played with my dreams. I opened my eyes and sat up. I got ready to go and grabbed my phone on the way out.

I was about to get in the car when I heard my name called. I recognized the stutter at the beginning of my name so I turned around and flashed Josh a slight smile. "H-hey" I smiled as he walked over to me. "How about that run?" He asked and I frowned. "I'm being forced to go to the doctor. But here's my number. Text me and I'll tell you when I get home so we can run" I smiled so he nodded as I put my number in his phone. "Tyler get in the car we have to go" my mom hissed so I smiled at Josh before getting in the car.

We arrived at the doctors office and my mom was filling out paperwork while I sat next to her texting Josh about when we can go on our run.

"Tyler Joseph" a nurse said so my mom and I got up. We were lead to a room and I sat on the weird bed thing. "Tyler put your phone away" mom hissed so I rolled my eyes and shoved my phone into my pocket.

"Hello, my name is doctor Scott. So what seems to be the problem?" The doctor asked so my mom sighed before speaking "he hasn't been eating very much, he's been in his room a lot,  he hasn't been interested in much and I've watched him just stare at a wall blankly for an hour or so with out moving or saying anything" mom explained to the doctor so he nodded. "Ok, Tyler. Just a few questions. Is that ok?" He asked so I nodded.

"Do you ever feel sad for no reason?"
I nodded with out speaking
"Have you had suicidal thoughts?"
I glanced at my mom and nodded
"Have you self harmed in any way?"
I looked at my mom then looked down before nodding.
"When was the last time you did it? Where on your body?" Dr.Scott asked so I showed him my arm. "L-last night" I whispered and my mom looked at my arms. She looked as if she was about to cry. "I'm sorry" I whispered and leaned against the wall behind me. "Ok Tyler. All of this adds up to depression. You have two options. Take anti-depressants now or see a therapist once a week for six months?" He asked so I thought.

"they make you fake happy. They don't make you truly happy and you know that you can't stop the drugged happiness that's forced upon you when you're struggling underneath"

Josh's words about anti-depressants played through my head so I looked at the doctor. "Therapy" I sighed so he nodded then wrote something down. "Here is the number to the therapist. Call and schedule your appointments" he told her so my mom accepted the paper before we left.

"Tyler why don't you want anti-depressants?" Mom asked me as she drove "Josh says they don't work. They just make you stop feeling and fake happy. It's a drugged happy that hides the struggle on the inside" I explained and she sighed "fine. You can go to therapy but if they say you need to be on anti-depressants then you are taking them" she demanded so I nodded.

She pulled into the driveway and I got out of the car. I went up to my room and changed into my running clothes. "Where are you going?" Mom asked "on a run" I simply replied and she was about to say something but just let me go.

I waited for Josh to come outside before we both started jogging down the street. I lead him around the neighborhood and eventually to my spot in the forest.

We both sat on the mossy ground and watched the water in the small creek move swiftly over the rocks. "How did the doctors go?" Josh asked "I am officially diagnosed with depression" I sighed and threw a pebble into the creek. "Drugs?" He asked and I shook my head "no, I chose therapy" I told him then I got the urge to start smoking cigarettes. "Do you smoke?" I asked randomly "when I'm alone and get the chance to" he told me then pulled out a box of cigarettes along with a lighter. "Want one?" He asked so I nodded. He lit me one so we sat there smoking cigarettes by the creek.

I've never smoked before but it's really stress relieving actually. "When does school start again?" Josh asked before taking a drag off his cigarette. "In a week" I told him then allowed the smoke to come out of my throat and mouth.

I laid down on the damp ground and stared at the cloudy sky. It's never sunny in Columbus. I feel like it's always cloudy. Josh laid next to me and let out a sigh. I put out my cigarette before looking over at Josh. I smiled slightly seeing how good looking he was. I began getting this weird feeling inside me. My heart was beating and my insides felt like they were empty but full at the same time if that makes sense. It's weird. I've never had this feeling before. What is it?