Who I Was

❤little girl❤

When I was 5 years old I wanted to rule the world, but I thought that was silly. In my mind I wanted to understand and help the world be a better place. I was young I know, but I was starting somewhere. When I was that age I believed in fairytales, happy endings, and shooting stars.

But one night at that age I saw my uncle outside with his guitar. It was 3 in the morning, but I went outside anyway. I asked him "uncle Blake why are you out here." And he said "sweetheart I'm going to tell you a story about my father that did the same thing. My father would smoke a drink and get angry easily but he would never yell or hit me. If he ever did hit me he would never forgive himself, but every night a 3 am he would be outside with his guitar singing. He never took a beer and he never took a smoke he was just breathing in the beautiful air. Which means he had a good side to him, and ever since I made that a tradition, and sweetheart I want you to promise me to keep that tradition going. Promise me that no matter what life throws you I want you get up at 3 am and breath the fresh beautiful air ok?"

I stayed quiet for a while and said
"I promise uncle Blake." But I was only five, but I've been doing it ever since. Because it ment a lot to my family and I planned on keeping the promise. But that wasn't the reason why I wanted to help people.

That choice started when I was 7. When I went to school one day there was a boy that was crying in a corner. I asked him "what's wrong?" And he said "I feel like nobody loves me anymore." "Why though" "because my parents fight all the time and I think it's because of me. They didn't want me here." I got on my knees and rubbed his back slowly. "That doesn't mean they don't want you. All parents fight bubba but that doesn't mean it's about you. They just need a way to let out that anger they have trapped inside. Everybody loves you. Your family your friends and the whole world." After I said that he gave me a hug and thanked me. That's when I knew what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to help people. I still do.

I help a lot of my friends because I know what it's like to be heart broken. I know what it's like to be hurt and yelled at. And it hurts I know. But I've been through so much I refuse to give up yet.

But of course while I help my friends I feel bad about myself. Why? You may ask. Because I mean I'm a kid is what they say. I can't do anything with my life. That I can't make my own choices. Well honestly I don't care. I know I can make my own choices.

And one more thing. There's this amazing girl which I happen to adore very much that thinks she's not worth it. Well if your reading this. I want you to know something.

You are not worthless.
Or fat
Or pathetic
Or ugly
Or weak
Or stupid

And I'm not just saying those things because I am your friend. I'm saying those things because it's the truth. You are the bravest person I know. You make me stronger you make me confident and you make me smile every time I'm talking to you. You don't need a guy's approval of how beautiful you are. They didn't make you so why listen to them? I love you.
Your my sister. My soul. My happiness. Your the reason I even get up in the morning. You give me hope. And love that no one else gives me. And you don't need to cut to make yourself satisfied. Isn't being your friend good enough? Isn't me being your Angel good enough to make you happy and give you hope? And remember what you taught me. To not listen to what other people have to say because the only one that knows your life is you, and only you can change it. So do it. Don't listen to the people around you. They don't know you like I do. So just keep your head up. I know you will be amazing. And also I don't need to be a girl or your friend to know your beautiful, smart, funny, or amazing. Remember that.

The same for everyone else keep being beautiful and keep being you because there's is nothing more bright than seeing you be yourself. Well that's how my life started. See you in the next chapter.