Today I'm going to talk about my thoughts. I feel alone. I can't sleep at night knowing that nobody would care about me. I need someone to talk to, but I don't want to make them depressed. My friends are happy they don't deserve to be sad I do. Yes as I've said before I'm a happy person until I break down at night. When I'm about to go to sleep I always cry knowing I'm not good enough for the world. I'm annoying God when am I not. I bother everyone everyday. I'm always loud, and I always have to tell my friends about my problems. I'm clingy when am I not. Every second of the day I always think my friends are going to leave me so I stay quiet and don't say a word even when I want to I know I can't. I'm weak I'm a kid of course I'm weak. I can't do anything knowing I'm small all the adults and teenagers might as well rule me because there is nothing I can do to change that. Adults rule kids lives. My family is the boss of me they make my own decisions. I'm absolutely pathetic. I can never say anything without getting ignored. I say something and no one listens why? Because I'm depressed that's the cycle of life and society it's self. I don't talk to my friends because I know they're happy and if I say anything about this I'm just going to ruin their lives like always so I just keep my mouth shut so they can be happy. Their happiness means everything to me.
Right now I can't sleep and sometimes I never feel like eating and other times I throw up because of the lack of sleep. I'm tired I can't talk to anyone without hurting them. My friends if y'all are reading this I'm sorry but it's the truth I can't talk to you knowing y'all are happy. I'm afraid of sleeping I have bad dreams about my past and what happened during the process. I just can't sleep anymore. I'm alone.
I always ask myself
"God can you be anymore disappointing." I'm not exactly the most interesting person to talk to. I'm loud and obnoxious. So why would anyone care if I was gone. No one would come to my grave anyway so why have me in your life? Why have a waste of time in your life? Why would you even waste your breath on me? If I died it wouldn't even be a big deal y'all can always find another person to talk to. I bet there's other people out there that likes helping people and making you laugh so why would you care if I even died. I'm just a person. So why would you cry? I'm nothing. I'm worthless. I'm not worth wasting your time on. So honestly why do you say you need me in your life if you can go find someone else when I die. I'm a kid. So why do you need me if I'm so small. You could replace me in seconds so why do you need me for? All I do is drag you down. So why? Explain why you need me when I'm so pathetic, weak, annoying, clingy, worthless, disappointment.
Anyways that's my thoughts guys. Thank you for listening see you in the next chapter ~akaweirdgirl ❤
YOU ARE READING
Who I Was
Non-FictionThis is a story about my life and why I wanted to help people in the first place. And why I think there are no such thing as bad people but people that didn't have the good influence they needed to be great. Hope u like it.
