Honestly guys I'm tired of being second. I'm tired of being lost and forgotten. No one will be there when I die. Absolutely no one. Why can't I just give up? Just end it all? I'm tired of being lonely and sad and hurting others. I'm sick of being jealous of the stupidest things. I'm just not good enough. I never was. Why can't I just not cry and be scared of the most ridiculous things. Why do I have to be sad? Why do I have to be jealous? Why do I have to be scared? Why just please tell me because I'm sick of it. I want to end it. I'm happy but it ain't true I just keep it all inside. Demons and monsters surround my body and tell me to just end it. To make myself perish. To just disappear. To never be seen again. And they stay there waiting for me to grant their wish. I fight these monsters everyday and always end up winning because I don't give up. But this time I seriously think they're winning. They're pushing me down to where I can't get out anymore. I'm sad I'm depressed I'm pathetic and weak. Because I can't think of anything other than sadness. While I make my friends depressed. I hate hurting them! I hate it! I know they care, but my mind won't bring itself to let them help me! They get so worried while the only thing I can do is just look at knives! I hate it so much! I'm tired! Why can't I just end it! No one in the whole entire universe would look at me and hug me to see what a disappointment I am...
I'm slowly losing hope...
I'm losing strength...
I'm losing overall...
I'm just a stupid kid...
That follows older kids...
I'm so annoying why don't they leave? I'm clingy I worry to much and I get to easily attached. So why stay? I'm a kid... I fall easily... I cry easily... I give up easily... so why? I'm so loud and stupid. Why not just end it? Honestly I don't know anymore. I feel like giving up but the rest of me isn't ready. I'm tired. I'm tired of lies, being hurt, being clingy, people leaving, and worst of all I'm tired of hurting my beautiful friends. They deserve to be happy. I don't... I deserve sadness and pain. They don't... they deserve the most love and hope for the world. I don't deserve any of that. Well I don't know what I'm gonna do but soon enough I'll find out.
I'll see you in the next chapter soon guys. ~akaweirdgirl ❤
YOU ARE READING
Who I Was
NonfiksiThis is a story about my life and why I wanted to help people in the first place. And why I think there are no such thing as bad people but people that didn't have the good influence they needed to be great. Hope u like it.
