Who I Was

❤The truth❤

Today I need to get something off my chest. I'm going to talk about someone that really means to me mitch_world she's just the most amazing friend in the world. Honestly if I ever lost her I would die and wouldn't be able to breath. Ever since we met she was in the dark until I pulled her out. I didn't realize how much I meant to her but that changes now. I now realize how much I mean to her by writing this book. Mandi if your reading this I need you to know something. I was depressed because I was afraid of losing you. I was afraid that you would leave me because I'm just a kid. I never told you this because I was afraid of how you would react, but right now I'm gathering all my bravery and courage to write this. I was stupid to think this but I'm a kid I over think things. I was stupid not to realize that you get worried when I'm sad or hurt. It's like you said before I'm like your sister and I should've known that from the day we met. And I should've listened when you said you wanted to protect me, but I guess my depression got the best of me and I'm sorry. Even though I'm not clingy towards you or annoying I'm still going to say sorry. Why? Because your older you have things going for your life your going to high school heh the big doors. And I mean I felt like you didn't need me because I'm barely going to 7th grade and I thought I would just be a drag to you. Your getting older friends your bonding with people and I don't know I just felt like you didn't need me and I started to do things I'm not proud of. I know you've told me a thousand times already of how much you care about me well this time I actually got the message. You mean so much to me like seriously you don't even know. You've helped me with so much and I was stupid to think you didn't care. I was just blinded by sadness and anxiety. And I'm happy that I made you the person you are today. I look up to you for strength mandi. I look up to you period. You give me the bravery and courage to do things. It's just something about your personality that I adore. You make me happy every single day. You make me laugh when I'm sad. Your just the most amazing friend I've had. And I just don't want to lose you. I want to meet you. God I really want to. I want to actually get to hug you and say thank you for everything you've done for me. Even though you act like a mom sometimes lol. I'm sorry I push you away sometimes. I just feel like you don't need me and I feel small you know? Truth is I just don't like you to worry so much. I don't want to be the cause of you getting worried or scared. My life is full of mistakes I know that for sure but I don't want to bring that on you. Your to precious to me I could never do that to you. I guess it's just the fact that your older. It makes me feel like your just gonna leave without saying a word. I was so scared. So I stopped sleeping and lost health to do anything. When honestly you've been there the whole time. And I thank you for every single problem you've helped me on. I'm so grateful to have you in my life. Your funny, sweet, nice, weird in your own way and overall your just amazing. When you have the courage to do something you do it and I just love that about you. I love that your so strong with your emotions sometimes. I love how you open up to me. I love being your Angel mandi. I guess I just lost sight of that. I just can't believe how you can put up with me. I'm so annoying and weird. But I guess to you I'm just perfect. When we met I've told you before I was afraid to talk to you that was until you started opening up to me. And when you help me you do help me. I feel happy when I know I can talk to someone especially you because you understand better than anyone else. I'm sorry again for pushing you away. I never realized it before but now I do. God I just don't want to lose you. Your all I've got left from happiness. Your my happiness. Your the reason I get ready of what comes my way. You give me hope and faith and I just care so much about you. Your my sister my light my saviour my protection my hero and I couldn't live a life without you. I hope you like this part. I'll see all of y'all in the next chapter ~akaweirdgirl ❤