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The Roast Of Danisnotonfire

Lyrics to Dan's roast of himself:

A month without uploading
He comes back with a tag
That no one even tagged him in
He's not a challenge to drag
So prepare for an attack
And by that I mean cringe
As this motherfucker's gonna get dragged by his fringe.
First things first you're freakishly tall
It's weird you look like a noodle
You've got hair that looked cool in 2007
And wet you look like a poodle
Throw in a really annoying posh voice and
Yup that's Dan
You're what would of happened if Whinnie the Pooh fucked slender man.
you procrastinate making videos
'Cause being judged is scary
You're so close to being forgotten
The hate's imaginary
The only reason you get views
Is you're another white guy
That people ship with his friend
Cause they think it's kawaii
Oh?
'Reasons why Dan's a fail (yay)'
I'll give you some
You never tweet
You overeat
All you do is cry and sleep
Your jokes are shitposts and memes
With no originality
Your family's sad because you flopped
Your law degree at university
And anything embarrassing that's from your past
You just delete
You were a vegan for like three weeks
Then what? You missed the meat?
Wow I'm so impressed
By your clear moral integrity
You try so hard to be peaceful
And diplomatic
But can't make toast without Tumblr
People saying your problematic
I could go on
There's more if I check
There's more things on this list than chins on your neck.
On your birthday you joked about being a quarter way to death?
A hundred? Yeah
When getting out of bed makes you out of breath?
Your celebrity crush was J-Law but now it's Evan P?
Wtf even is your sexuality
It's hard to put you in a box
When you keep it so blurry
I think it's to hide that you're secretly a furry
*Cough*
I'm joking
Obviously
Okay that went deep
Repress it?
Yup!
Before I start crying
Let's wrap this shit up
I'm gonna go masturbate
Then cry into a slice of pizza
Shoutout to all the other Youtubers
Especially Ryan Higa
A cringe compilation
Mixed with cultural appropriation
Met with no deprecation
It's the YouTube nation
Click subscribe
If you wanna see four videos a year
To see my last one
From ten years ago
Just click over here
So leave a comment with your reaction
you can call me a liar
Cause you have just witnessed the roast of Danisnotonfire.

(Not mine but this is awesome)

New video out with tons of views
You say it's a roast, but you know it's all true.
So you went and put your roasting skills to the test,
Bitch, who do you think you are? Kanye West?

Nice reel in, by the way,
Mention sexuality to make us think you're gay.
After all, gotta stick with the branding
Let me break it down for a better understanding
(Music)
Put Phil on the bed to make the phandom panic
Bitch your ship is sinkin' faster than the titanic

'Reasons why Dan's a fail! I'll give you some!!'
How long did it take you to think of that one?
Dragged by his fringe? You're so desperate for a rhyme
Take your emo ass back to 2009

You say you never upload and how's that wrong
When your damn video is only 2 minutes long.

Your rapping skills are as flat as a tire
Wow, I guess Dan really isn't on fire.