I love making people feel good.
So why do I feel like this?
Sad enough to cry a river
if only I could get the dam to break.
It won't even crack,
No, I keep that gate locked tight.
It doesn't even waver at night
when I'm alone.
So I'm trapped,
I've trapped myself in my own mind
where I like to make people happy
But don't treat myself with the same kind
of regard and respect.
Is that the sacrifice I've made unconsciously?
Trading my happiness willingly
for the smiles of those that I love?
Day in and day out reaching far down
and pulling a smile out from some dark pit
so that the darkness doesn't
show on my face.
Every time I'm tempted to say something
I can hear all the possible responses to replace my words.
and then I hear my my silence
because I can't answer
to a single one of them.
Maybe I'm selfish
for not trusting anyone with my problems
because I think they are so heavy.
As if I've got the biggest burdens to bear and heaviest cross to carry.
That's why my mouth stays shut.
It's better for everyone if I stay quiet,
I regret less that way.
And I'm trying my best to regret
less these days.
I've got to many piled up behind that locked dam that won't break.
So either let the dam break
or silence reign.
SK
