Dear Insanity... I messed up again.

Chapter 19

Hello lovelies! I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been rather busy! =^.^= Please forgive me!

ALEX'S POV

I curled up on the makeshift bed that Cam had laid out for Ivy and I. Ben put in the movie, and before long, we were both clutching our sides with fits of laughter. The movie was soon over and I rolled over to look at Ben. 

"Your turn to pick." I smiled. He reached over to the case and grabbed Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers. I smiled. Another one of my favorites. 

"Is this okay?" He asked, his voice getting that cute British brawl I've noticed gets thicker when he's sleepy.

"Mhmm." I grumbled my approval before pulling the blankets up underneath my chin. He slid the DVD into the playstation and quickly crawled back under the blankets.

"It gets entirely too cold here at night." He complained,

I stretched my arm above my head, inviting him under the covers with me. "Ivy says I'm a space heater." I stated, matter of factly.

"Is that so? I think this might work out well for both of us, then." He smiled, slithering his way underneath the black mass of blanket.

"COLD! COLD! COLD!" I screeched as his cold, bare feet grazed my skin. He laughed and got an evil grin on his face. "BENJAMIN PAUL BRUCE, YOU WIPE THAT SCARY ASS GRIN OFF YOUR FACE!" His face broadened into a wider smile as he stuck his hands up the back of my shirt. I quit screaming and went rigid, my eyes growing wider. With a sudden jerk, I rolled to the right right on top of him. My eyes were still huge. His eyes grew wide as he looked down at me straddling him.

"Oh, it's that kind of night, is it?" He winked playfully.

"No! No, no, no!" I swatted his chest before hastily rolling off of him. He chuckled lightly, turning his attention back to the movie playing across the screen.

DANNY'S POV

I sat on the couch, a cold drink in my hands. Ivy sat across from me, a blanket pulled around her protectively.

"I won't hurt you, you know..." I said quietly. She glanced in my direction, blushed, and looked away. "Would you like a drink? Maybe a beer or something?" She shook her head, her black hair falling over her eyes.  I sighed, turning my attention back to the movie flashing across the flat screen tv. Was I ever going to win her affection? She shifted uncomfortably. "Are you cold?" I offered, holding up a thicker blanket. She nodded and I took it and draped it over us. As I was leaning over her, a sudden burst of self confidence caused me to look her in the eye. "You're really pretty, you know." Again, she turned fifty shades of red. "I.. Uhhh..." It was my turn to blush now. I leaned back, swallowing hard. Get a grip, Danny. She's just a girl! I'd never had this much of an issue talking with a girl before... I sat back and stole glances at her. She watched the movie carefully, though I could tell her heart wasn't into it. She looked at me out of the corner of her eye, and her nose wrinkled uncomfortably at the strong smell of alcohol rising out of my glass. "Not much of a drinker, eh?" I asked. She shook her head nervously. "I can dump it, if the smell is bugging you." I offered. What the hell has gotten into me? That would be a perfectly good waste of a drink... But I felt compelled to do it. She didn't say anything, just sat there, frozen. I sighed and got up, dumping the amber liquid down the drain. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it, and held my pack out toward her. To my surprise, she took one and shuffled to her pockets for her lighter. We sat on the couch, smoking and intently watching the movie.

"Ash tray?" She asked quietly.

"Oh yeah!" I reached out behind me, fumbling for the black dish, and plopped it between us on the couch.

"Thanks." She grinned,but it looked forced.

"I'm sorry I make you uncomfortable. I don't mean to, honestly." I said quietly, looking at the burning embers on the end of my cigarette. She glanced at me.

"I... It's okay." She stammered.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked.

"You just did."

My train of thought derailed. "Uh, what? Oh." I smiled. "Har har, princess. I'm serious though."

"Go ahead." She smiled.

"What do you think of me?" I asked nervously, still avoiding eye contact.

Her eyes darted nervously. "Depends. Do you want the truth or an ego boost?" She snapped.

My jaw dropped. Her sudden confidence confused me. "...The truth, I'd say."

"In all honesty... you scare me, Danny. You drink entirely too much, you smoke like a train," I looked at my cigarette, and put it out. She made me feel insecure. "and well, you have a pretty rough reputation. Alex doesn't care much for you either, and well, she's usually right about these things." She stated, looking down.

"Ah. Yeah.. You see, Alex and I go a ways back." Her eyes met mine, and her head tilted slightly.

ALEX'S POV

We watched the movie for a long while, the two of us laughing together. He wrapped his arms around me. "Alex, I know it may be a little bit soon, but I love you." I turned to face him, looking him in the eyes.

"Ben... I..." I stuttered, shocked. "I'm not..." His face fell. "I'm not ready for any kind of commitment. I'm sorry." I twisted my hair around my finger. "I guess I should go... Gage will want to kill me for earlier, I'm sure." I started to get up.

Ben grabbed my wrist gently to stop me. "Alex, you are always welcome here. You stay, I'll go to my bunk. I'm sorry." He got up and opened the door. He looked back, and the undeniable look of rejection and hurt was present on his face. I immediately felt guilty. I curled into a ball, and squeezed my eyes shut, desperate to avoid the unavoidable panic attack that started to rise in my gut. My head wrapped around Luke again, and before I knew it, I was in the corner, my knees pulled up to my chest, tears pouring down my face. The rain was pounding on the bus windows as I waited for the morning to offer me some relief. I sure could use Gage right now.