If This Lasts (If This #2) Published Under Bliss Books)

Chapter Twenty

I was about to say it. I was gonna say yes. I was going to take him back... until Henry pulled me before I could say the words. Sa pagkabigla ay hindi ko nagawang pumiglas. Si Zion naman ay parang nanghihina nang panuorin ang sasakyan ni Henry na umalis mula sa parking lot.

Sa sobrang panghihina niya ay hindi na niya nagawang habulin ang sasakyan o di kaya ay kahit papaano, pigilan naman ito.

"Henry..." I started.

"Don't say a word." mariin na sabi nito at matapos ay ipinagpatuloy lang ang pagpapatakbo sa sasakyan. Natahimik ako at bumalik ang isip sa nangyari kanina.

Mahal ko pa siya, mahal na mahal. Sa tatlong taong lumipas ay hindi man lang iyon nabawasan o naglaho kagaya ng inaasahan ko. I wouldn't be so mad and hurt at what he did if I didn't love him that much.

Nang marinig siya kaninang nagsumamo na tanggapin ko ulit ay parang sinasabuyan ng asido ang puso ko sa sobrang pagkirot. I thought of pulling him for a kiss and replace his broken and pained voice with gutturals and groans from pleasure. I was almost tempted to be the one on my knees and plead him to accept me.

I wanted him back. I want us together again. I want my Zion, the old and the new.

But am I really going to take him back even after everything? Am I going to take him back with a barely mended trust? Am I going to take him back without a promise that he won't lie to me again? That he won't do any of it again?

Will I rely everything on the abundant love that we both have for each other as a foundation? Will it keep us together?

At paano naman ako? Have I learned for the past three years? I don't want this to be another repeat of what we had. I want to do everything to keep us solid. Ayaw kong magkahiwalay pa ulit kami.

And maybe being with him will risk hurting... but I'd rather open up to that risk than risk losing him completely. Pain entails in love. I will hurt. All I can do is hope that he won't hurt me more than I can bear.

What I need right now is more time─more time to fix our issues, to talk. I need some assurance that he will never lie to me again. I need to hear it in words. And maybe I can promise not to run away from him again─that I would learn to stay regardless of anything.

Henry drove us to a different restaurant. Iyong malapit na lang sa office at nakainan na namin dati. He was brooding and silent the whole time, while I was lost in my own head─thinking of what I'd do now.

Tahimik pa rin ang maikling drive pabalik ng office. I never attempted to start a conversation. Henry was quiet as usual, too. He'd always been like this but his silence seemed louder than usual because of what happened earlier.

We were the only ones inside the elevator car that the tension in the air felt heavier, it was nearly suffocating. I tugged on my lip and thought of something to say that could lighten the mood but Henry beat me to it.

"He doesn't deserve you." he said in a low voice. My head turned to him. His jaw was taut as he stared at the elevator door. His head whipped towards my direction. His eyes were hard and pitch black.

"He did nothing but hurt you. You've done nothing but cry because of him. Why are you giving him that power over you? Why do you..." he breathed in deeply and shook his head. "I don't... get it."

The elevator dinged when we reached his floor. He looked away from me when the door began to open. He let out a resigned sigh. "Never mind. See you later."

Hindi na ako nilingon ni Henry at dumeretso sa paglabas ng elevator. I was caught off guard with what he said that I wasn't able to come after him.