Systematic Hearts

{ 9 }

I sit in the office that smells like paper and medicine. I hate it. My hands are shaking from all of the nerves that are going through me.

Carson holds my hand and rubs it with the back of his thumb, this small movement is really calming, but I am still nervous. I am about to start a family.

The doctor comes into the office. Her white coat trailing behind her. She has a tray of needles. Oh no. She sits down at the pictures of my X-rays and nods a few times, "You look very healthy, so you won't be needing the protein boost injection," one less needle, better....

Carson must be nervous too because he keeps asking questions, "What injection or injections will she need?" He asks.

"She will need two," the doctor says casually. I hate needles, "one needle will go in her thigh and one in her stomach. Not much pain until later," gee thanks.

I have to ask this, "How do people get twins? Like, isn't there a way to manage that?" I wouldn't mind having twins, but that is double the pain. I don't want that part.

"No," she says simply. I give her a puzzled look, so she continues, "We give an estimated amount of injection. Sometimes there is a little more. Maybe even a lot more. It is not uncommon to have twins. But any more than that is very unlikely." She finishes.

"How will we know if she is having twins?" Carson asks.

The doctor flips her hair over her shoulder. I notice she is wearing a name tag, Cady. I like that. Dr. Cady responds, "she will have an ultra sound today. Her stomach will grow right away. And we will be able to tell how many babies are in there in around four hours. I don't know if the nurse told you, but you have to stay here for seven hours today and then come back on your due date," she says all this casual like. Seven hours though? That's a long time. I wonder why.

I wonder so much that I ask, "Why seven hours?" Carson nods his head a long with my question.

"You will need an ultra sound in four hours and the rest of the time because the babies will develop mostly today and then their growth will slow down. You will have a full grown stomach by the end of the day!" Why don't they just do it the way we did a long, long time ago. Let the baby develop on its own. Cady walks over to the trays and grabs the first vile of liquid. She attaches the needle and walks over to me.

"Okay," she says,"This first one is going to help the baby's growth along with yours. Also, it is going to give you a little pain reliever. But not much," Oh god. My hands are shaking so hard. Carson grabs my hands in his and I lean my head into his shoulder. Cady speaks again,"Okay, I am going to put the needle in your thigh in three, tw-" the needle goes in. I hate Cady I hate her. She didn't go to one, let alone zero. "Sorry," sure she is. I grimace.

"Next time can you count down. Like, ALL the way?" I ask.

"Sure, but you need to lay down," I do. I lay down and Carson crouches next to the table. I look him straight in the eye and try not to think about anything else. Cady continues, "This is the injection of the baby," she lifts up my hospital gown, uncovering my stomach. She hovers the needle over it, "Thre-" the needle goes in. This one hurts. A lot. I can't even think about her not even getting to two.
...

It has been three hours since the injections. I was moved to the ICU, onto a bed that allows me to sit up. I would rather be laying down though, my stomach hurts and there is a giant bump in it. I mean giant. They said I will be fully grown in two more hours. The last two weeks are for the baby to develop fully. It's disturbing.

Another hour goes by with me barley standing the pain because of Carson. He has been so helpful. Dr. Cady comes in, she turns on a screen and puts some cream on my stomach. She tells me it is an ultra sound, "Looks like a baby boy." She smiles, and I smile. Carson has the biggest smile on his face, this makes me so happy.

...

On the drive home from the hospital I throw up twice. Great start to my two weeks. Just great.

I report to the machine that I will have a baby boy, and then I go straight to bed. The lump on my stomach is big. There is a baby in there. I have a family of my own now. Carson comes in and lays down right next to me. "I love you," he whispers.

"I always will," I say back to him.
-----------

That was a really weird chapter, sorry. It was really hard to write. I also want to thank everyone who has commented! I love the comments, thank you for helping me!

Shout out to my new followers! Check out their stories!

Also I can't believe there are over 100 views on Ours. Thank you so much! I never thought I would get one when I published this book!
Thanks
👌🏻