Systematic Hearts

{ 15 }

The plane landed an hour ago, and we just got on the road in our rental shuttle. Burk talked to Carlin, not me, and somehow found his way into the backseat of my shuttle. Carlin is messing around with her necklace in the passenger seat.

I pull the map grid up in front of me. The digital blocks building me my rote to Bandon, Oregon System Territory.

I drive and I drive, until I reach the place we are staying at. I walk in to the compact. We are staying for a week, too long to just get a room. Burk also got into the rental compact. I haven't talked to him since the plane. But, he is not as bad as I thought he was. Ew. Did I just say that?

"I want to go to this trail!" Carlin yells from the room next to mine. She comes out and shows me. It is a trail in a forest and it leads to a cliff. It is really old, but really pretty front he pictures. Burk agrees. We all like in the shuttle and drive out.

                                   ...
The fog overtakes the view, making the age of the cliff hard to see, but the ocean is still there. I can see it through the fog. It is truly beautiful. Carlin is walking around and Burk is next to me, "Wow," is all he says.

"Wow," I agree.

He smiles, "You know, I think that is the first time you have said something to me? I'm sorry for budding in On your trip."

"You should be," I laugh a little. He might actually be an okay guy. For Alice. Not me.

Burk walks away and lies down in the grass and scattered yellow flowers. I follow and do the same. It is beautiful up here. Carlin keeps getting really close to the edge, making me nervous. She does it again, the fog covering her. I stand up and go next to her, "Hey," I say.

"Hey, isn't it beautiful up here?" She asks as happy as ever. "It would be great to find my other soon. I hope he's here," she turns to face me, but count unites walking backwards, "I wish he would come, I want to have a family like you. Have a son like Charlie. Even have a chance to have one like Ali-" she falls.

"CARLIN!" I lunge forward grabbing her hand. She doesn't have anything but my hand to hold onto. And that won't do for long. "Hold on okay?" She nods, fear engulfing her face. Burk, "BURK, HELP NOW!" My voice is quiet over the running ocean water. But he hears me. He comes running and helps me pull Carlin back onto the cliff. I hug her as she cries. Carlin is shaking from fright. She could have died. Burks hand is on my back. It is comforting, I think. I have to shudder. I have to shudder the thought away.

I look at him. His full lips and blue eyes. His small nose. The full lips, no, what am I thinking, "Thanks."

"Yeah, yeah sure. No thanks needed," his eyes stay on me for a beat to long. And for some reason he leans into me. And I lean into him. It might be that I am tired, or that Carlin fell asleep, or that he has part of my sister around his neck. I don't know. I really don't. I know it is wrong, I know that I made a promise to Carson, but for some reason I lean in and let him kiss me. I let him. I kiss him back too. His lips feel like Carson's. And then Carson is in my head, and I snap back to reality. I pull away and shake my head. What did I just do? I know that I don't have feelings for him. I love Carson and Charlie. That's it. I made a promise to them that I won't break a promise I can't break. But I think I just did.