Broken || Tyde Levi

can't love me.

-Scarlett's POV-

The incident happened two days ago and they were accepting visiters. Tyde and I were waiting in the hospital waiting area to see Brandon. His sister, Jen, walked out of his room with dry tears on her cheeks. Her face was red and her brown hair was everywhere. I doubt she got any sleep in the last forty-eight hours that her brother has been in the hospital.
I stood up and walked over to her, we've only met once but right now it seemed like I was her only family. She hugged me, "Thank you for coming." She whispered in my ear.
"No problem. How is he?" I asked when she let me go.
Jen nodded, "He's doing alright. Surgery went well and he should go home next week I think."
"Can I see him?" Jen nodded and took me to the room where he was staying in.
I walked inside and immediately heard the beeping of the heart monitor. It was going at the same monotone rythum every second. Brandon was sitting up in his bed watching TV. "Having fun without me?" I said aloud.
He looked over at me and smiled, "Hey you." I walked over to him and gave him a hug, "I've missed you." He said.
"I've missed you too. Science is unbearable without you."
Brandon laughed for a short amount of time because it hurt his shoulder. "How are you?" I asked.
"I'm good. The pain isn't that bad, mostly because they give me pills for that."
"So you're on drugs now?"
"Oh yeah, I'm such a crack head now you don't even know." I laughed, "How are things with you and Tyde? You haven't filled me in on anything."
I smirked, "Things are good between the both of us actually."
"Really?" I nodded, "So you guys have had the sex?"
"Brandon! No, we haven't. But we almost did."
"Tell me what happened!" I told him about the drunken night in New Years and how we made out all night, "Wait. So you guys made out and you told him, no sex?"
"Yeah..."
"Scarlett! You're dating Tyde Levi Mellet. One of the cutest, most popular guys in school, and you told him you weren't ready for sex? Slay."
I laughed, all Brandon really wanted to talk about was my relationship. I really didn't honestly, but from Brandon I did.
"You guys are really cute together you know that?" He asked.
"Yeah? A lot of people say that."
"It's true. He really cares about you and he makes you happy. You can obviously tell that he's in love with you."
"What? No. No Tyde doesn't love me."
"It doesn't seem that way." I sighed and changed the subject.
After about an hour of talking, Brandon had fallen asleep. The medications must have taken over him. I got up and left the hospital room. Tyde walked over to me, "Hey. Everything okay?" He asked.
I nodded, "Yeah he fell asleep. Where's Jen?"
"Downstairs, she went to go get something to eat."
"We're you here the whole time?" Tyde nodded and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, "Can we go?"
"Where?"
"It doesn't matter."

***

Tyde drove to his house and made the both of us dinner. It was just a grill cheese sandwich, but hey it's something. After we finished eating Tyde and I went up to his room. We watched a whole bunch of videos on YouTube. Some of his own, some of Troye and Connor, and some of his friends from the U.S.
"Why did you start YouTube?" I asked Tyde. I was cuddled up next to him, his arm was wrapped around my shoulder and he rubbed my arm slowly.
"I don't know. Out of boredom I guess. Would you ever start YouTube?"
"No, I'm not funny or creative."
"Sure you are."
"No stop. Even if I started YouTube, that would just be one more person you'd have to compete with."
"True." He laughed.
Tyde turned on his side and faced me. "You're so beautiful." He said to me. I smiled and kissed his nose. We just stared into each others eyes and smiled. I was lucky to have met Tyde, to have someone there for me. For once.
"You're full of mystery Scarlett." Tyde mentions. "That's one of the things I love about you."
My heart stopped when he said that. Tyde flashed me a smile as if he expected me to say I loved him too. I shook my head, "No Tyde." I whispered, "You don't love me."
"Yes I do Scarlett." Tyde protested.
"Stop." I said I sat up and got off of his bed. I grabbed my shoes
"I'm in love with you! I'm in love with everything about you and there's nothing you can do about that."
"Please don't..."
He sat up now. "No. I'm not going to stop! I love you Scarlett..."
"Tyde!" I yelled to get his attention then calmed myself down. "You don't love me, you don't even know what love is."
"Yes I..."
"No you don't. Even if you did, you certainly can't love me." There was a lump forming in my throat now.
"Okay. Why not?" He asked in a voice that was almost inaudible.
"Because I tend to hurt the people I love and love me." A tear rolled down my cheek, "And I am sure as hell, that I don't want to hurt you."
The both of us stood there in silence, "I'll see you later." I walked out of his room and walked into the restroom down the hall. I turned the water on and washed my face. I looked up to face myself in the mirror and began to cry.
I was screwing everything up right now. My whole world was slowly collapsing all because of how stupid I was being. I kept thinking about Tyde. I don't want to mess anything up anymore. I didn't want to deal with shit like this anymore. I just wanted it all to be over.