paramour

chapter 14

Even more days past, and every day I didn't see him I felt even more awful.

Kathy attempted to console me, but as she comforted me, her tone lost a bit of hope. Besides, she was busy planning the dance that was in less than a week.

I didn't like doing that to her, not at all, but it was so apparent that I was upset over something –well, at least when I let my mind slip. I would begin brooding when I got back from class –Kathy was usually late because she would stop by Will's dorm for a moment to tell him when he could hang out with us– and well... Kathy could really tell when I was upset, and now that she knew the reason why she couldn't help but trying to make me feel better. Her attempts were in vain though. I still felt terrible. And I would not say anything to Damian –he was probably already angry enough, although he was too gentleman to just downright say he hated me. I would only feel worse if I said sorry and he rejected it –especially since I felt like I wanted more.

"Hey Marie... Do you want to help plan with me? We still need some extra hands... you know, decorators and stuff,"

I pursed my lips, coming out of my trance to look at Kathy's hopeful face.

"Yeah, sure –why not. I need to get out and do something anyway,"

My voice was slightly monotonous, and Kathy grimaced as I stood up, getting up off the couch.

It was late at night now –class wouldn't be starting for another few hours.

Her arm wound around my shoulders as we left the dorm and walked at a normal pace down to the gala hall.

There were so many different rooms and halls for different purposes, it was unbelievable –and maybe even a little stupid, I thought. I had to wonder exactly how big this place was, where exactly it was, or rather, where I was, and then if I could ever explore the whole place.

I had yet to visit this particular hall –it was only used for social events and this was my first dance of the year.

"It's a semi formal, and we really don't have a theme or anything... so we're just going to be setting up strobe lights and balloons, silver streamers, etcetera... A lot of the decorations are going to be silver."

I nodded as she talked business on our way. I wasn't really looking forward to setting up decorations, but what could I do. I had to get out and about, distract myself momentarily from the constant bashings of my conscience.

"This is a good opportunity for you to meet new people who are also helping out."

I shook my head, my jaw taut.

"I think I've met enough people. Not many people like me, and I don't understand how I have friends now in the first place,"

Kathy rolled her eyes.

"I don't get why you think that. You're just feeling awful about everything right now because of–"

I shot her a look that silenced her instantly, but she continued on a different subject nonetheless.

"Well anyway, you're very likable when you let yourself be. Try to talk to people. It's better to have friends here than not."

I sighed and nodded, though I didn't agree. I wasn't going to try to socialize with people. If someone talked to me, I would return the favour, and that was it. I doubted anyone would anyway.

When we were on the main floor, and had walked down many hallways, we finally arrived at a large set of doors. Kathy didn't hesitate to push them open and grin at the people who were on ladders and walking around the large space as we entered. It was almost like the gym –there were only a few minor differences.